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15 Creepy Stories from Psych Ward Workers

Psych ward stories have a spooky glamour to them, unmatched by any other spine-tingling tale. Haunted mental hospitals, spirits in captivity, sadistic nurses and orderlies - it's enough to make the hardiest of hearts consider a nightlight. Many consider abandoned mental hospitals to be creepy, but based on the stories from actual psych ward workers below, the ones still populated with patients are far worse.

15 Creepy Stories from Psych Ward Workers,

Pilot with Amnesia Could Be a Human Experiment
I work in an ER, and due to my country and state's poor mental health system, we see acute psychotic episodes daily. Over time, you get desensitized to it, but there is still one that turns my stomach.

A guy was found in a burning abandoned building. He wasn't hurt, but was acting so strange the paramedics brought him in. He was homeless, had no ID, did not know his name, and had zero drugs in his system. Looking into his eyes, you could tell he wasn't seeing the same thing I was.

So I'm trying to get his name or anything out of him, and he keeps telling me he was a pilot for the Air Force and flew experimental airplanes, because he could withstand the G-force and his blood was naturally thin. The blood tests that measure this actually were fairly higher than normal, but not elevated to the point he was on medication for it. So he was right on that account.

I was at the desk telling a coworker about the stuff this guy was saying, when a resident overheard me. He was former Air Force as well, and looked like he had seen a ghost. As soon as I mentioned the name of the base, this doctor freaked out. He said that that city/base has no roads in or out and a lot of top secret testing goes down there. He said that you don't know about it unless you've been there. He told me not to talk about it or make a big deal.

This gave me an even weirder vibe...

Patient Gouges out Own Eyes

My mom told me this story from her time at a neuropsychiatric ward while she was in grad school. She was making her routine room checks and happened upon the most horrific scene I've ever heard.

This was during the night shift, and generally all the patients' bedroom doors should be closed. So my mom turned a corner and noticed an open door. She saw a staff member's legs on the floor, halfway out the doorway.

When she looked into the room, she saw the patient, a woman with a severe postpartum psychiatric disorder, who had just gouged both of her own eyes out with her bare hands. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, holding her eyes in her hands.

The first staff member to witness the scene, who was now lying face down on the floor, had a heart attack when he first witnessed the woman while he was making his rounds.

My mom screamed for help, and frantically tried to perform CPR on the staff member. All the while, the woman just sat rather calmly, holding her own eyes.

Patient Is (Too) Hot for Teacher
I was a pharmacy technician at a hospital with a psych ward for some time. We would have to go around with a cart and dispense the patients' medications, and being a 5'2" girl, a security guard or male nurse would accompany me, just as a precaution. I never had any real issues other than the occasional death grip onto my arm or manic outbursts, but there was one boy who was entirely different.

His chart said he was nine and he had pale skin, dark hair, and huge bright, green eyes. He always greeted me in the most polite way, asked how I was doing, and always found something different to compliment me on every time. He was extremely well-spoken and mature for his age, so I began looking forward to seeing him, as normal small talk is definitely cherished in that setting. If he saw me outside of his room in the halls, he made sure to say hello and always called me "Miss Jones" or "ma'am."

One day, a couple of our female nurses saw me pause to chat with him in the hallway, and waved me over to ask if I was out of my mind. Apparently, when he was in kindergarten, he grew an intense attachment to his young female teacher.

This escalated to the point of him calling her "Mom" and leaving notes for her about how he wished he were her son. He had a normal home-life with both parents, and the teacher tried to explain to him that she couldn't be his mom because that would hurt his real mother's feelings, and that she already had that job covered.

So, he went home and, killed his own mother in her sleep by cutting her throat, so his teacher could be his mom. The female staff had a general rule of not interacting with him excessively to prevent any kind of attachment from forming.

So, don't judge a book by its cover, I guess.
Jane May Be Possessed

We had a young lady in our custody with quite a few issues. We'll call her Jane. On Jane's first night at our facility, staff performing a bed check found Jane in a puddle of blood. Turns out, Jane had been slicing the skin around her shin with her finger nails and was pulling her skin up her leg, essentially de-gloving her calf.

Jane also had a ritual she performed every night before bed. While in her room, she would walk to every wall and touch them in a crucifix pattern. After doing this for a few hours, she would sit on her bed and go to sleep. One night, Jane's pace was frantic. Our night staff observed the entire interaction, and reported Jane screaming late into the night. When one staff member went to check on Jane, she reported Jane standing in the doorway smiling. The staff asked what was wrong, and Jane replied, "What makes you think you are speaking to Jane?"
That's some pretty creepy stuff, but not as bad as this.

Old Lady Speaks in Tongues
When I first started working in the hospital, I was sitting with this sweet little old woman. I had sat with her, talking about her family and such for six hours. Towards the end of my shift (9 pm) they decided she didn't need to have a heart monitor, so they transferred her to a different unit.

Once we got to the new room, she started acting differently - just generally angry, I would say. Then all of a sudden, she tried to jump out of the bed (a big no-no at hospitals), so I immediately got up to stop her. She started screaming bloody murder about how her house was on fire, and her family was inside and she needed to get them out. I tried to calm her down, but to no avail.

She started yelling at me about how I'm going to rot in the flames of Hell because God told her so, and how I was responsible for her family's death. Staring deep into my eyes, she told me all about how I will burn in eternal flames, and that I am filled with evil. I thought, "Okay, at least she isn't worried about her family or trying to get out of bed."

But then she started screaming at the top of her lungs in what I can only describe as Latin or maybe even gibberish. She then ripped out her dentures, threw them at me, and pulled all of the skin on her face back into this long, stretched-out, creepy smile. She let out a blood-curdling scream while her eyes rolled back into her head like some sort of possession scene in a movie. Just as she let up my relief came into the room. I wished her luck and booked it out of there.

The second I got off the unit, I called my mom and cried for a good 15 minutes. I still think of her stretched-out face sometimes.

Patients Predict Their Own Deaths

Well, my mother was a nurse that specialized in geriatrics, and she worked for several hospice hospitals for many years. She often described situations at her work with several of the patients. She would say that each person tends to have a very similar "checklist" that they follow right before death. This checklist often ended in a very similar way.

They would get caught talking to someone that wasn't there. When asked who they (otherwise lucid people) were talking to, they would describe an individual who was already dead. When asked what they were talking about, they would say that their relative wanted to know if they were ready to move on. A pretty common response would be, "Yeah, he/she said that she will take me tomorrow at 3:00." Well, it would often happen that they would die at the exact time their relatives quoted.

Sometimes It's Scariest When They Make Sense

I had an hour-long conversion with a delusional guy who was confined to a mental health facility, and who was probably smarter than I am. Lots of these folks believe that somebody - often the CIA - is either beaming thoughts into their heads, or has implanted a microchip in their brains for this purpose. This guy was offering a very thoughtful argument as to why such claims should not be so quickly dismissed.

"It's precisely because such delusions are so common that mental patients make the best test subjects," he said. There he was, confined and protected, constantly observed, his health and behavior documented, and there is zero chance that anyone would ever take his concerns seriously. How else would you test and improve such technology? Does the government not have a strong motivation and a plausible ability to create such a device?

"You can see I'm not irrational," the man said. "I'm just straight-up telling you that they are doing this to me. I know just how unbelievable it sounds, and yet, here I am."

Sleeptalker Communes with the Dead

My clients have dementia, and there's one who creeps me out a lot. During the day, she's the sweetest old lady, but at night she sleep-talks.

And it's not normal sleep-talking. Her eyes are open, and sometimes she's sitting up. Sometimes it's impossible to tell when she has gone from sleeping to being awake, until she turns to you and asks if you've seen the little girl that was just here, the one she was talking to. She talks about people being there all the time, including a little boy that has died, and she wonders what we should do with the body. She mentions a little girl that sleeps with her, a man that orders her around, and her dead husband who is always looking for her.

I heard her talking once, and she was being very loud, but as I reached the open doorway, she said "Shhh. They're all sleeping. Better not talk about it now." And she promptly stopped talking and just lay there very still.

Patient Issues Disturbing Warning about Abduction
I was working an overnight shift on an Alzheimer's ward at a nursing home. It was about 2:30 am, and I was making my rounds, peeking into the rooms to make sure the patients were where they should be.

I went into one room, and this 83-year-old woman was sitting straight up in her bed, staring at the wall. I slowly walked into the room and calmly asked her if she wanted to lie back down. She turned her head slowly, looked me right in the eye, and said "They're coming for you, dear." Then she started laughing - I'm talking full-on hysterical, insane cackling. I almost pissed myself right there. She finally calmed down, and I got her to lie back down. When she was just about to go back to sleep, she looked at me again and said "I'm going to miss you when they take you," and went right back to sleep.

I was terrified the rest of the night.
Young Girl Displays Truly Disturbing Behavior
This story is sad, so brace yourself.

I was working in a mental health ward around Christmastime a year ago. Long story short, it was shower time for one of the patients. She was a young girl - maybe 13 or 14-years old - with a really intense history of physical abuse. My coworkers got her to the shower and undressed her. She coughed up a great deal of saliva and spat it on the ground, really slowly. Before we can do or say anything, she knelt on all fours, licked it all up, laughed, and said "I'm ready, Daddy."

I was shaken up for weeks after and I still try not to think about it.

There is a happy ending to this story, though. Her scum father is in jail now, and the girl has been adopted.

25 People Describe Their Scariest Family Secrets

If you thought you and your family had skeletons in your closet, wait until you read these 25 sordid and salacious tales compiled from a Reddit thread. Some of these stories are harrowing, some unbelievable, and some downright insane.
25 People Describe Their Scariest Family Secrets,

The KKK Took My Uncle Away

"A great Uncle of mine passed away when I was a little boy. The family met at his house after the funeral to start packing things up and all, as he had no children and his wife died many years before him.

"My great uncle was a highly respected member of his small town. He was a banker of some sorts, deacon in the church, all of those things that made him a good person.

"Well, tucked away in the attic, not covered by any dust mind you, was a large wooden trunk. Inside this trunk were the purple robes of a KKK Grand Dragon, various member listings, meeting notes, and all other sorts of things related to the KKK. Turns out that my great uncle was a very active, although very much secretive, member of the regional chapter of the KKK."

The Dream Friend
"I had an aunt who committed suicide when I was three and my older sister was four. Her daughter had ran off and no one had any idea what happened to her mom. It was my older sister who told my mom that 'Aunt Pam is playing in the garage.' Sure enough they found her dead in her car. No one knew why my older sister knew this, and when asked about it, she said that her dream friend told her. My sister and I found about this recently. My sister also used to talk to this 'dream friend,' who came to her first in a dream about a graveyard."
Mistress Murder

"My great-grandfather had a 17-year-old mistress he put up in an apartment. Great-grandmother found out, confronted them at said apartment, shoots and kills 17-year-old mistress.

"Great-grandfather serves the time in prison for the murder. Weeeee"

Cult Mother
"I am pretty sure my mother was in some sort of cult or something as a child (parents forced her and raped her, I think). She would tell me these pretty creepy stories of bodies being chopped up and thrown down a well. It's incredibly disturbing and I really don't want to know what really happened."
Wicked Mother
"My mother abused me my whole life, and one day I finally couldnt take any more and told a teacher. CPS was called, and as soon as my mom realized what was going on, she raced to the police station and told them that an hour previously I had gone crazy and tried to kill my baby sister so that I looked like the crazy one, and nothing I said would be taken seriously. I was removed from the school in handcuffs and immediately taken to the county courthouse, where I had to face my mother in a trial. I chose not to testify because I knew it wouldn't help, but in the end the judge realized that she was crazy and I wasn't. I had the choice between being put in a psychiatric hospital for teens or going home, so I chose the loony bin. Five days later my aunt came from another state and adopted me. My family doesn't talk about it, and to this day my mother maintains that I was a horrible child and I was 'sent away' for my 'own good,' and that she is so happy I am better now."
Killer Uncle, Blackmailer Father
"An uncle I've never met (mom's brother) killed my mom's parents when he was sixteen in a fit of rage, and burnt down their home in an attempt to cover it up. I've never met him, as he has been in jail on a life sentence since before I was born. I was only informed of his existence because my dad was blackmailing my mom with this."
A Need for Milk Turns Deadly
"My great grandfather hit his wife with a fire poker, and slit her throat. He then proceeded to blow his head apart with a shotgun. He sat in a rocking chair and used his cane to push the trigger. All over an argument whether it was too cold for me to walk to a grocery store to get some milk."
Who's Who?

"My older sister is actually my mother, my father was my mother's (actually grandmother) husband.

"They don't think I know."

Foul Play?

"I just found out that my grandparents wanted more kids, but were having trouble getting pregnant for a second time. They adopted a toddler-aged brother and sister when my mother was was seven. Soon after, my grandmother got pregnant, and the girl died from a very mysterious fall down the stairs. The boy was quietly given to another family. They never, ever spoke of either child from that day forward. I thought my mom was pulling my leg, but a quick search turned up the girl's death record.

"I was never close to that grandmother and can't help but think back to every weird aspect of that women, and all the strange relationships she had with her family."

Upholding the Family Name

"We have a pedophile in the family, one who also is a misogynist, so he molests girls with the sole purpose of ruining their lives. He had abused all of my aunts, and raped a seven-year-old girl who lived next door, and probably a lot of others that I don't know about. Everyone kept it pretty quiet until his wife filed for divorce because he was cheating on her, and used the molestation cases for her benefit.

"He has three sons who still don't know what their father is.

"He isn't in jail because THAT would be bad for the family name, because you know, 'we're all so proper and law abiding.' I keep trying to get my parents or other relatives to take action, but his wife refuses any suggestions of the sort. She also thinks that the other girls were 'asking for it'. It gets me really pissed that these people are related to me."

The 13 Most Evil U.S. Government Experiments on Humans

The U.S. Government has been caught conducting an insane amount of vile, inhumane, and grisly experiments on humans without their consent... and often without their knowledge. These are the thirteen most evil, creepy, disturbing cases of human-testing ever conducted by the United States of America.

Conspiracy theory nuts are known for being a little out there, but once you read the wild government experiment stories on this list, you'll be a believer too. Did the U.S. government really infect its own citizens with syphilis and not tell them? Sure did. Did other government agencies test nuclear weapons, resulting in radiation fallout on multiple innocent Pacific islands? Oh yes. And did top U.S. officials condone the research of corrupt doctors who were clearly torturing their research subjects? Click through the list below to find out.

Get ready to become one of those conspiracy theory nuts, because after this list, you will never fully trust the U.S. government again.
The 13 Most Evil U.S. Government Experiments on Humans,

Operation Paperclip
Following World War II, the U.S. Goverment covertly instituted Operation Paperclip, a program of the Office of Strategic Services (OSS) in which over 1,500 German scientists, technicians, and engineers from Nazi Germany and other foreign countries were brought to the United States for employment.

They did this in part to keep German scientific expertise and knowledge from the Soviet Union and the United Kingdom, and to keep post-war Germany from redeveloping its military research capabilities. The U.S. Government "bleached" the scientists of their Nazi ties, removing and/or destroying any documents or records tying them to the party.

Evacuations netted the U.S. Government an estimated 1,800 technicians and scientists, along with 3,700 family members. Any who had special skills or knowledge were taken to detention and interrogation centers, to be held and interrogated, sometimes for months at a time. Some were then transported to villages without research facilities or work and forced to report twice weekly to police headquarters to prevent them from leaving. A Joint Chiefs of Staff directive stated that the scientists should only be released "after all interested agencies were satisfied that all desired intelligence information had been obtained from them."
Deadly Chemical Sprays on American Cities
Showing once again that the U.S. always tends to test out worse-case scenarios by getting to them first, the Army, CIA, and government conducted a series of biochemical warfare simulations upon American cities to see how the effects would play out in the event of an actual chemical attack.

They conducted the following air strikes/naval attacks:
- The CIA released a whooping cough virus on Tampa Bay using boats, and so caused a whooping cough epidemic. 12 people died.
- The Navy sprayed San Francisco with bacterial pathogens and in consequence many citizens developed pneumonia.
- Upon Savannah, GA and Avon Park, FL, the army released millions of mosquitoes in the hopes they would spread yellow fever and dengue fever. The swarm left Americans struggling with fevers, typhoid, respiratory problems, and the worst, stillborn children.

Even worse was that after the swarm, the Army came in disguised as public health workers. Their secret intention the entire time they were giving aid to the victims was to study and chart-out the long term effects of all the illnesses the public was suffering.
Mind Control, Child Abuse - Project MKULTRA, Subproject 68
This is the stuff of nightmares. The CIA-run Project MKULTRA paid Dr. Donald Ewen Cameron for Subproject 68, AKA experiments involving mind-altering substances. The entire goal of the project was to look into methods of influencing and controlling the mind and extracting information from resisting minds.

In order to accomplish this, the doctor took patients admitted to his Allen Memorial Institute in Montreal (mostly for issues like bi-polar depression and anxiety disorders) and conducted "therapy" on them. The treatment they received was life-altering and scarring.

Between 1957 and 1964 Cameron was paid to administer electroconvulsive therapy at 30-40 times the normal power. He would put patients into a drug-induced coma for months on end and playback tapes of simple statements or repetitive noises over and over again.

The victims forgot how to talk, forgot about their parents, and suffered serious amnesia. All of this was performed on Canadian citizens because the CIA wasn’t willing to risk such operations on Americans.

To ensure the project remained funded, Cameron, in one scheme, took his experiments upon admitted children and in one situation had filmed the child engaging in sex with high-ranking government officials.

He and other MKULTRA officers blackmailed the officials to ensure more funding.
Mustard Gas Tested on Soldiers via Involuntary Gas Chambers
As bio-weapon research intensified in the 1940s, officials also began testing its repercussions and defenses on the Army itself. In order to test the effectiveness of various bio-weapons, officials were known to have sprayed mustard gas and other skin-burning, lung-ruining chemicals like Lewisite on soldiers, without their consent or knowledge of the experiment happening to them. Upon contact with the skin, this would cause extreme pain, itching, and swelling reminiscent of severe chemical burns.

They also tested the effectiveness of gas masks and protective clothing by locking soldiers in a gas chamber and exposing them to mustard gas and Lewisite, mimicking the gas chambers of Nazi Germany.

It was also rumored that along with the soldiers, patients at VA hospitals were being used as guinea pigs for medical experiments involving bio-warfare chemicals, but that all experiments were changed to be known as "observations" to ward off suspicions.
US Infects Guatemalans With STDs
In the 1940s, with penicillin as an established cure for syphilis, the U.S. decided to test out its effectiveness on Guatemalan citizens. To do this, they used infected prostitutes and let them loose on unknowing prison inmates, insane asylum patients, and soldiers. When spreading the disease through prostitution didn't work as well as they'd hoped, they instead went for the inoculation route.

Researchers poured syphilis bacteria onto men's penises and on their forearms and faces. In some cases, they even inoculated the men through spinal punctures. After all the infections were transmitted, researchers then gave most of the subjects treatment, although as many as 1/3 of them could have been left untreated, even if that was the intention of the study in the first place.

On October 1, 2010, Hilary Clinton apologized for the events and new research has gone on to see if anyone affected is still alive and afflicted with syphilis. Since many subjects never got penicillin, its possible and likely that someone spread it to future generations.
Pentagon Treats Black Cancer Patients with Extreme Radiation
In the 60s, the Department of Defense performed a series of irradiation experiments on non-consenting, poor, African-American cancer patients. They were told they would be receiving treatment, but they weren’t told it would be the "Pentagon" type of treatment: meaning to study the effects of high level radiation on the human body. To avoid litigation, forms were signed only with initials so that the patients would have no way to get back at the government.

In a similar case, Dr. Eugene Saenger, funded by the Defense Atomic Support Agency (fancy name), conducted the same procedure on the same type of patients. The African-Americans received about the same level of radiation as 7500 x-rays to their chest would, which caused intense pain, vomiting and bleeding from their nose and ears. At least 20 of the subjects died.
Infecting Puerto Rico With Cancer
In 1931, Dr. Cornelius Rhoads was sponsored by the Rockefeller Institute to conduct experiments in Puerto Rico. He infected Puerto Rican citizens with cancer cells, presumably to study the effects. Thirteen of them died. What’s most striking is that the accusations stem from a note he allegedly wrote:

"The Porto Ricans (sic) are the dirtiest, laziest, most degenerate and thievish race of men ever to inhabit this sphere... I have done my best to further the process of extermination by killing off eight and transplanting cancer into several more... All physicians take delight in the abuse and torture of the unfortunate subjects."

A man that seems to be hell-bent on killing Puerto Rico through a cancer infestation would not seem a suitable candidate to be elected by the U.S. to be in charge of chemical warfare projects and receive a seat on the United States Atomic Energy Commission, right?

But that’s exactly what happened. He also became vice-president of the American Cancer Society. Any shocking documentation that would have happened during his chemical warfare period would probably have been destroyed by now.
Injected Prisoners with Agent Orange
WARNING: the above video may be disturbing, but is a reality of what Americans used as biological warfare during Vietnam and what we, as Americans, VOLUNTARILY injected into people for "testing" purposes... with the help of a very popular American company.

While he received funding from Agent Orange producer Dow Chemical Company, the U.S. Army, and Johnson & Johnson, Dr. Albert Kligman used prisoners as subjects in what was deemed "dermatological research."

The dermatology aspect was testing out product the effects of Agent Orange on the skin. For the effects Agent Orange had on the Vietnamese during the Vietnam War, please click here. (WARNING images in this article may be extremely disturbing, as they include extreme human deformation, including that of infants.)

Needless to say the injecting of, or exposure to, dioxidin is beyond monstrous to voluntarily do to any human. Kligman, though, injected dioxidin (a main component of Agent Orange) into the prisoners to study its effects. What did happen was that the prisoners developed an eruption of chloracne (all that stuff from high school combined with blackheads and cysts and pustules that looked like the picture shown to the left) that develop on the cheeks, behind the ears, armpits, and the groin - yes, the groin.

Kligman was rumored to have injected 468 times the amount he was authorized to. Documentation of that effect has, wisely, not been distributed.

The Army oversaw while Kligman continued to test out skin-burning chemicals to (in their words) "learn how the skin protects itself against chronic assault from toxic chemicals, the so-called hardening process" and test out many products whose effects were unknown at the time, but with the intent of figuring that out.

During these proceedings, Kligman was reported to have said, "All I saw before me were acres of skin ... It was like a farmer seeing a fertile field for the first time." Using that analogy, it's easy to see how he could plow straight through so many human subjects without an ounce of sympathy.
U.S. Grants Immunity to Involuntary-Surgery Monster
As head of Japan's infamous Unit 731 (a covert biological and chemical warfare research and development unit of the Imperial Japanese Army during World War II), Dr. Shiro Ishii carried out violent human experimentation on tens of thousands during the Second Sino-Japense War and World War II.

Ishii was responsible for testing vivisection techniques without any anesthesia on human prisoners. Vivisection is the act of conducting experimental surgery on living creatures (with central nervousness) and examining their insides for scientific purposes. So basically, he was giving unnecessary surgery to prisoners by opening them up, keeping them alive, and not using any anesthetic.

During these experiments he would force pregnant women to abort their babies. He also subjected his prisoners to change in physiological conditions and inducing strokes, heart attacks, frost bite, and hypothermia. Ishii considered these subjects "logs."

Following imminent defeat in 1945, Japan blew up the Unity 731 complex and Ishii ordered all the remaining "logs" to be executed. Not soon after, Ishii was arrested. Then, the respected General Douglas McArthur allegedly struck a deal with Ishii. If the U.S. granted Ishii immunity from his crimes, he must exchange all germ warfare data based on human experimentation. So Ishii got away with his crimes because the U.S. became interested in the results of his research.

While not directly responsible for these acts, the actions of the American government certainly illustrated that it was more than willing to condone human torture for advancements in biological warfare that could kill even more people.

Secret Human Experiments to Test the Effects of The Atomic Bomb
While testing out and trying to harness the power of the atomic bomb, U.S. scientists also secretly tested the bomb's effects on humans. During the Manhattan Project, which gave way to the atomic bomb that destroyed Hiroshima and Nagasaki, U.S. scientists resorted to secret human testing via plutonium injection on 18 unsuspecting, non-consenting patients.

This included injecting soldiers with micrograms of plutonium for Project Oak Ridge along with later injecting three patients at a Chicago hospital. Imagine you're an admitted patient, helpless in a hospital bed, assuming that nothing is wrong when the government suddenly appears and puts weapons-grade plutonium in your blood. Out of the 18 patients, who were known only by their code-names and numbers at the time, only 5 lived longer than 20 years after the injection.

Along with plutonium, researchers also had fun with uranium. At a Massachusetts hospital, between 1946 and 1947, Dr. William Sweet injected 11 patients with uranium. He was funded by the Manhattan Project.

And in exchange for the uranium he received from the government, he would keep dead tissue from the body of the people he killed for scientific analysis on the effects of uranium exposure.

The 12 Weirdest Ways Kids Are Getting High Lately

List of weird ways to get high as reported by strange news stories all over the world. If there’s one thing we’ve all agreed on, it’s that being sober sucks. As Samuel Beckett once said, “taking coffee without brandy is like taking sex without love.” That’s really only tangentially related to this article, but man, what a great quote, huh? Here are some weird new ways kids have been getting high lately.
The 12 Weirdest Ways Kids Are Getting High Lately,

Nutmegs
What is it?
You know… nutmeg. It's a seasoning. Some people put it in toothpaste.

What's It Do?
According to Squidoo.com: "when taken in large doses (nutmeg) has been found to give a buzz, or nutmeg high. …(nutmeg) can give you a nice buzz when taken in a moderate amount, but can cause nutmeg hallucinations and even death if an extremely large about is taken."

That’s... that’s the least helpful description of a drug's effects ever. I can't believe they threw out the phrase "nutmeg hallucinations" as if that doesn't need any further explanation as to how it might differ from your run-of-the-mill, every-day hallucinations. Do you hallucinate nutmegs? Can an “extremely large amount” really cause death, or is it just "nutmeg” death?

Well, now we know.

Are We Serious About This?
Yeah, kinda. It's been used recreationally, especially in India, since at least the late 19th century. Malcolm X even wrote about using it in his autobiography, though he referred to it as a "semi-drug." Its main perk is that it's so easy to find and use, but since the effects beyond a light buzz are dry mouth, dizziness and palpitations, it seems pretty unclear why anyone would bother.
Carfentanil

What is it?
Carfentanil is an elephant tranquilizer being mixed into heroin in Wayne County, MI, which includes Detroit. The substance is 10,000 times stronger than morphine and has no antidote. If you overdose, there's nothing anyone can do other than wait for you to die. Chuck Rosenberg, acting DEA administrator, calls carfentanil "crazy dangerous," while Wayne Country medical examiner's office spokesman Lloyd Jackson said, "This stuff is so deadly, you could die before you can get high."

What's it do?

Are We Serious About This?
Yes. According to Michigan Department of Health and Human Services, at least 19 people have died from overdosing on carfentanil-laced heroin. The appearance of carfentail in opioid coincides a nation-wide opioid epidemic.

Catnip
What is it?
That weird green stuff that kind of resembles pot and makes your cat act like a goddamn idiot.

What's it do?
Sadly, it won't send you into the fit of excited euphoria that your cat enters. If you smoke Catnip with a mixture of Tobacco, it will give you a "mild euphoric" feeling. Since Catnip is a member of the mint family, smoking catnip basically gives your brain a mint. How pleasant that sounds to you probably depends a lot on your opinion of mint.

"It's like an altoid for your brain!"

Are We Serious About This?
Proooooobably not. It's not gonna hurt you, and it's not gonna feel great either. It's like candy-cigarettes but slightly lamer.
Meow Meow (Mephedrone)
What is It?
A totally legal way to get stoned. Mephedrone, or "Meow Meow" (because kids are stupid) is a powerful stimulant that's mainly available online.

What's It Do?
According to that article, Mephedrone causes "heightened awareness, excitement, alertness, lowered inhibitions and talkativeness.”

So it’s basically a “make yourself more annoying” drug.

Are We Serious About This?
Can we be serious about a drug named after the mispronunciation of Mjolnir from the Thor movie? Or kittens? Compared to some other drugs out there, it basically just sounds like really killer coffee, but when combined with alcohol it can cause circulatory problems. The fact that it's legal probably lures some younger users into a false sense of safety, which obviously compounds the dangers exponentially.

It's probably more dangerous than weed, but less dangerous than alcohol.
Bath Salts
What Is It?
Surprisingly, it's not actual bath salts, so no one's going to be sneaking into Grandma's bathroom in the middle of the night to get a quick fix. Bath Salts are cheap stimulants containing substituted cathinones, mainly available online.

What's It Do?
The effects are similar to cocaine or methamphetamine, plus a healthy dose of get-f*cked hallucinations that make you want to just kill the s**t out of everybody – if you're lucky. Like Meth and PCP, there's also a chance you'll start scratching your skin off in order to get the bugs out.

Sweet Dreams!

Are We Serious About This?
Yeah, this stuff will by all accounts, ruin your day.
Flakka
What is it?
A new synthetic stimulant that's gaining popularity in Florida (of course), and causing people to run through the streets naked. Flakka is the street name for alpha-Pyrrolidinopentiophenone (alpha-PVP).

What's it do?
"It actually starts to rewire the brain chemistry. They have no control over their thoughts. They can't control their actions," says Don Maines, a drug treatment counselor. People on Flakka also tend to think that someone is chasing them, and there have been reports of users trying to have sex with trees and claiming that they are the mythical god Thor.

Are We Serious About This?
Yes, but only sorta. Synthetic drugs can be super nasty, but the people who study new psychoactive substances say that they're usually no more dangerous that more common drugs like methamphetamine. Lucky for us (and unsuspecting Florida trees) these niche drugs tend to fade away pretty quickly.

Source: Gawker, Vox

Cheese
What is it?
Cheese is Tylenol PM mixed with heroin. “So basically, it's heroin.” $2 heroin.

What's it do?
Makes you write fantastic music and then die.

Are We Serious About This?
Yes! Yes, we're serious about it! Heroin sucks a lot, and most of us will lose a friend to it one day. “Cheese” isn't something new and dangerous, it's something old and dangerous, which is a lot scarier because it means we've had plenty of time to figure out how to deal with it but haven’t.

You know what causes teenage drug abuse? Genetics, depression, bullying, and other kinds of abuse.

Does anyone really think that if kids had never figured out that you could mix heroin and tylenol PM, they wouldn't be getting themselves killed? This isn’t hard, people.

Take meth, for example (don't actually take meth, though) – one of the chemical effects is increased confidence. Are we supposed to be surprised that addiction is linked to low self-esteem?

Shockingly, “using meth makes you hideous” doesn’t make meth addicts feel better about themselves.

I’m sorry I’ve gotten off topic here, but these “new drug” scares are all really stupid because addiction is less about the substance you’re using than the things that brought you to start using it in the first place. I’m not saying drugs are harmless, I’m saying that people are vastly overestimating their role in these situations.
Yes, heroin is f**ked up and no, people shouldn’t use it. And yes, it's funny that kids are calling it “cheese” now, because that's a stupid name for a thing. But the funniest part of all of this isn't the drug, and it certainly isn’t the innocent kids dying while they do it– the funniest part is the old, condescending, senile mother-f***ers trying to blame a new generation of kids for a mess that's thousands of years old.
Anafranil (Clomipramine)
What is it?
An anti-depressant.

What's it do?
For 5% of people, it gives you an orgasm every time you yawn.

Are We Serious About This?
No. This doesn't fit on this list at all, and I'm totally irresponsible for including it. I'm just pretty sure that if we could get that 5% number a little higher, Anafranil would blast every other anti-depressant off the market and probably solve all kinds of other problems too, because yawngasms.
Vodka Tampons (And Eyeballs)
What is it?
If you've ever been drinking vodka and found yourself thinking "man, I sure wish this getting drunk process was more painful and less efficient!" then shut up, no you haven't. No one thinks that. No one would ever think that.

Vodka Eyeballing and Vodka Tampons take the worst part of alcohol (it f**ks up your body) and makes it way, way worse while also managing to ruin the good part of alcohol (it makes you drunk) by limiting the dosage. This is the most tragically inefficient misuse of something awesome since Steven Seagal got sucked out of an airplane at the beginning of Executive Decision.

If you’re on the box art, you should at least kill someone at some point.

What's it Do?
What do you mean? It's vodka–it makes your brain work not good.

Are We Serious About this?
I dunno man, are we? Unlike everything else on this list, we're not for one second challenging that, at its heart, this is a wonderful thing. After all, for most of human history, people have relished the opportunity of disabling large chunks of their brain so they have an excuse to cause property damage and regurgitate their innards all over the sidewalk with social impunity. The thing these teenagers don't understand is that we've been getting drunk for thousands of years, and we've figured out all the best ways.

The window for that innovation has passed.

Do you think if pouring that s**t into your eye was actually a good idea, we wouldn’t have a religious ritual built around it by now? Thousands of years of human civilization says that the mouth is the best place to put vodka, so shut up and take your medicine.
Jankem
What is it?
Human feces and urine. You sniff it, I guess?

What's It Do?
Impossible to say. I'm sure as s**t (ha ha) not gonna try it myself, and I'd really rather avoid talking to anyone who feels differently. No matter how much you hate sobriety the "you know? I’d rather stay clean tonight," line needs to get drawn way before you’re sticking your nose in human s**t.

So, about here.

Are We Serious About This?
No clue. There are lots of anecdotal stories about this, but no conclusive studies and scientists say it wouldn’t make you euphoric or anything, it’d just knock you out. Which leads me to believe that the "high" you get off of huffing jenkem is just the rational part of your brain getting disappointed in you and going to take a smoke break.

15 Simpsons Jokes That Actually Came True

One of the most iconic television shows of all time, as well as one of the most quoted properties in pop culture history, The Simpsons has made hundreds of jokes that we all know, remember, and reference on a daily basis. Often times, these jokes revolve around extremely absurd concepts that could only happen in a cartoon or a satire – according to the writers at the time. Sometimes, these jokes underestimate just how low humanity (and often, America) can go. The Simpsons predictions listed here all came true!

Here's a collection of hilarious Simpsons jokes that really ended up being true, happening or being repeated elsewhere. There are some crazy things The Simpsons predicted, so read on to find out what!

15 Simpsons Jokes That Actually Came True,

Scotchtoberfest
The Joke: Principal Skinner tries to set Bart up to get in trouble, so he concocts something called "Scotchtoberfest," which allows him to control an entire event in which he knows Bart won't be able to resist pranking Groundskeeper Willie. Skinner attempts to catch Bart in act.

What Actually Happened: Vintage Wine & Spirits Co. A wine, beer, spirits, cigar, and wine accessory specialty shop located in West Des Moines, Iowa created a real Scotchtoberfest held every Saturday in October.

Flaming Moe
The Joke: Homer tells the local tavern owner Moe about a secret cocktail that includes cough medicine and fire that he calls a "Flaming Homer."

Moe steals the recipe and renames the drink the "Flaming Moe," and begins selling it at his tavern, betraying Homer in the process. The drink is a success and Moe becomes famous, even Aerosmith drops by to perform at his place!

What Actually Happened: Andy Heidel, the owner of a bar in Prospect Heights, NY called The Way Station, just happened to have a bottle of Robitussin behind the bar when someone brought up the Flaming Moe. Not sure why you would have cough medicine behind a bar, but whatever. He grabbed the 'tussin and mixed it with Pernod, Jagermeister and a Bacardi 151 floater and set it on fire. He and his friends got shmammered and the real-life Flaming Moe was born.

The Good Morning Burger
The Joke:

In the Simpsons, the Good Morning Burger was 18 ounces of sizzling ground beef soaked in rich creamery butter, topped off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg.

This was before all fast food restaurants started carrying a regular menu of heart-attacks every morning before 10:30AM, so it really worked as a satire of how horrible fast food is for you.

Before the "Baconator," a Sourdough Jack, or even a triple cheeseburger were as bad as things got.

The Good Morning Burger seemed so ridiculous and far off that it could never really happen.

Until...

What Actually Happened: This take on the Good Morning Burger is quite similar: hash browns, topped with a hamburger, topped with a fried egg. There are hash browns under a burger that's under a fried egg.

Another good example of how far things have gotten in fast food are, of course, the KFC Double Down and their "failure bowls" (as comedian Patton Oswalt calls them in this bit).

Stolen Sugar Truck
The Joke:
Lisa begins to feel threatened by Allison, a new student, because she is smarter, younger, and a better saxophone player than she is.

Their rivalry reaches a climax at the school's diorama contest where Lisa plans to sabotage Allison's entry. The episode's subplot sees Homer steal a large pile of sugar from a crashed truck, and begin selling it door-to-door. He keeps it in the back yard and it eventually melts from the rain.

What Actually Happened: Someone actually stole a freaking sugar truck.

In 2009, two kids were arrested by police in India for stealing a sugar truck from a person actually in charge of delivering the sugar. The kids were actually in charge of cleaning the truck and took it while it was parked at the cleaner/boss's house.

No word on whether or not they planned to sell it door to door.

Itchy and Scratchy's Bloody Billboard
The Joke: When The "Itchy and Scratchy Movie" premiered in The Simpsons, they advertised with a billboard that sprayed blood when Itchy hit Scratchy over the head with a sledgehammer, meant to poke fun at the overtness of not only violence in emerging popular media, but in even its advertising.

What Actually Happened:
New Zealand was super excited about the TV premier of Kill Bill, so they borrowed the idea from "The Simpsons" in a way that actually may have escaped the creators of the controversial Kill Bill billboard.

In an homage to Kill Bill's gore, the billboard sprayed "blood" across the wall, street and cars.

Just like the advertising for "The Itchy and Scratchy Movie."
Bengt Holmström Wins the Nobel Prize

The Joke: In the Season 22 premiere, Milhouse and Lisa participated in a who-will-win-the-Nobel-Prize betting pool. For Economics, Milhouse, who lost to Martin, selected Bengt Holmström.
What Actually Happened: In 2016, Bengt Holmström of MIT and Oliver Hart of Harvard were jointly awarded the Nobel Prize in Economics "for work on contact theory and how to evaluate whether things should be government-run or privately owned."

There's Very Little Meat In These Gym Mats
The Joke: As seen in the video above, Lunch Lady Doris is seen throwing gym mats into a meat grinder in order to prepare the school lunch for the day.

Anyone who's ever had a public school lunch knows how completely inedible they can be, and some of the wet, warm, questionable objects on your styrofoam, sectioned-off tray do seem like they have hazardous chemicals as their base...but gym mats?

That's unheard of, that would never happen, right?

What Actually Happened: It turns out that the bread used in the McDonald's McRib actually contains an ingredient (banned in some parts of Europe) that is used to keep gym mats sponge-y.

Time Magazine's Healthland blog ran a story about the McRib and its ingredients. It identified Azodicarbonamide as one ingredient found in the sandwich's bun and apparently, it is most commonly used in the manufacturing of foam gym mats and the soles of shoes.

The blog also noted that the 70 ingredients of the McRib, including Azodicarbonamide, exist in very small quantities and will almost certainly leave anyone eating a McRib unharmed. Subway was also found to be using the chemical in its bread, too.

Still, Azodicarbonamide is a substance banned in Europe, and strictly regulated by the FDA.

Looks like the Doris joke really wasn't that far off.
My Retirement Grease!!!!!
The Joke: In the episode "In Lard Of The Dance," Homer discovers he can make money by stealing and reselling grease found in the back of Springfield Elementary's kitchen. They even build a contraption so that they can steal the maximum amount of grease in their car.

They eventually give up after a few encounters with Groundskeeper Willie and the Springfield Grease Company. Bart and Homer barely escape an angry, greased-up Willie while trying to make it home-free with their glorious, profit-garnering grease in tow.

What Actually Happened: In November of 2011, The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported that thieves had stolen at least $2,000 worth of grease from the privately-owned restaurant The St. Louis Wing Co. since April.

"It's a big deal. There's a huge underground out there for this stuff," owner Bobby Thessler said. "Others have said that this is like the new copper... These thieves are getting more sophisticated..."

When he called the police on these thieves, they spotted three teenagers taking grease from the back of Tessler's restaurant, as well as others on that same block. The man uses about 60 to 70 pounds of grease every week, so saving money by selling it has always been a way to help break even. A rendering company would have paid the owner of the company multiple thousands of dollars for used cooking grease.11
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I Was Elected To Lead Not To Read
The Joke: This was a dig at Governor Schwarzenegger from The Simpson's Movie, saying he was too dumb to be a Government official.

The line "I was elected to lead, not read," was such a ridiculous statement because an elected official's entire job is reading long, difficult legislation, making sense of it, then deliberating.

What Actually Happened: In the 2012 GOP race there was a man by the name of Herman Cain, and he ran on the slogan "We need a leader, not a reader."

So yeah, that almost happened.

What does that slogan even mean? You need to read and be at least somewhat of an intellectual to run a country, that's why that joke in The Simpsons is so fun and why in the real world it's just so tragic.

It Tastes Like Grandma!!
The Joke: Inspired by a Zorro movie, Homer begins slapping people with a glove and challenging them to duels.

When a real Southern gentleman accepts Homer's request for a duel, the Simpsons run off to the old farm Homer lived on with his parents and breed a dangerously addictive but successful tobacco/tomato hybrid called "tomacco."

What Actually Happened: Homer’s "tomacco" plant became a reality when Rob Baur, a senior operations analyst at an Oregon sewage treatment plant, created it in his house.

He grafted together a tobacco root with a tomato plant to create a real-life tomacco, without even enlisting the aid of radioactive material.

To date, no nearby farm animals have gone berserk and articulated their tomacco desire through speech yet. YET.

The Greatest (Real) Bill Murray Stories Ever Told

Bill Murray is a badass. Though now known for his roles in such classic films as Groundhog Day, Ghostbusters, and Stripes, Murray first got his start as a castmember on SNL. Who could forget his classic Nick The Lounge Singer bit? Some of these Bill Murray stories are legend, and some may have indisputable proof – yet they are all amazing and sound exactly like the kind of awesome thing the most enigmatic celebrity (that we actually like) would do. From stories on the set to sightings in Karaoke clubs and even crashing random house parties, this is a list of the greatest (real) Bill Murray encounters of all time.

For more amazing true Bill Murray facts, check out this list of roles Bill Murray almost played.
The Greatest (Real) Bill Murray Stories Ever Told,

Bill Murray Surprise Bartends at Shangri-La at SXSW
The Story:

The story begins when Bill Murray attends Austin's SXSW festival and hangs out with Wu-Tang clan.

He shows up with them at the bar Shangri-La and insists on bartending, only serving patrons shots of tequila. No matter what they ordered, he pours them a lot of tequila.

Everyone there is Tweeting, Facebooking, and blogging about it, and someone even took a video:

Bill Murray Bartending at SXSW 2010 from Erica Hoerl on Vimeo.

Throughout the rest of the week, Murray is spotted at various parties, including one Redditor's ("one who frequents the popular website, reddit.com") friend's house party:

Believable?

This story is widespread, and there's video to prove its accuracy. It also proves the extent of Murray's awesomeness. Who knows how many of the details and secondhand accounts are true, but the video is pretty indisputable.

(Source)
Bill Murray Reads Poetry to Construction Workers Building NY's Poet House
The Story:

During construction of the Poet's House, a library in Manhattan, Bill Murray stops by to read poems to the construction workers who are working on the building. In the middle of reading, he says, "It gets worse. If you want to take a sick day, do it now." Workers laugh and take photos with their cell phones.

Believable?

Indisputably true.
Bill Murray Crashes Engagement Photo Shoot
In May, 2014, wedding photographer Raheel Gauba was out on a photo shoot with Erik Rogers and Ashley Donald, when suddenly the expressions on their faces went from candid to pure shock. Gauba told The Post and Courier: "I thought who the heck is bothering them? I turn around and it's Bill Murray with his shirt up, belly out, tapping his belly and trying to make them laugh."

Gauba invited Murray over to pose with the young couple for a few shots, to which he obliged, and then took off.
BONUS: Bill Murray Throws Bottle, Gives an Offensive Eulogy
Since the story about Bill Murray throwing a bottle that accidentally broke a guy's nose isn't remarkable enough (see the video below, where the victim doesn't only forgive him, but laughs with him – Bill Murray gets a full minute of laughs from a crowd that just saw him split a guy's nose open, Bill Murray is just that awesome) here's a heartwarming story to wrap up this whole thing.

The Story:

Bill Murray was really great friends with comedy great and "Saturday Night Live" star John Belushi (Animal House) at the time of Belushi’s demise due to accidental drug overdose. The man lived in excess and was known for doing a lot of disgusting things– and for making everyone laugh doing them.

So, after Ghostbusters, Bill Murray got the go-ahead to make his pet project– a film called The Razor’s Edge based on W. Somerset Maugham’s 1944 novel. It's about a disillusioned World War I vet, Larry Darrell, who travels the globe to find the meaning of life. Murray says he only really did Ghostbusters so that Columbia Pictures would allow him to make this picture.

He did, and it was met with some critical acclaim, but an overall box office failure–except one gem of a scene where a character is eulogized. Given that this film was made a little after John Belushi’s death, Bill Murray decided to use the eulogy in his film, which he co-wrote, to say goodbye to his dear friend John:

"He was a slob. Did you ever see him eat? Starving children could fill their bellies on the food that ended up on his beard and clothes. Dogs would gather to watch him eat. I never understood gluttony, but I hated it… I hated that about you. He enjoyed disgusting people, being disgusting, that thrill of offending people and making them uncomfortable. He was despicable. He will not be missed."

Murray then explained why he eulogized Belushi in such a fashion, "It comes from this old Persian thing where if somebody dies you tell horrible stories about him. That’s what I did when John died… What it does is remind you not to get sentimental. You say, ‘That guy was a rat,’ and I’m a rat too, and I’d better do something about it rather than weep my life away."

Believable?

True. Check the source, as well as this is a well-known story told about Bill and why that scene exists.

Bill Murray is one of the greatest actors of our time, and rarely do we get someone who is not only that great onscreen, but just as amazing off-screen. Just remember: If you ever run into Bill Murray, treat him like a friend–and he’s likely to do the same to you.
Bill Murray Does Karaoke with Complete Strangers
The Story:

A group of friends go out to have a few drinks at a bar called Karaoke One 7 in New York City. Mike, the guy who reported this story to authorities, notices a couple of women who have just walked in with a guy that looks just like Bill Murray... because he IS Bill Murray.

After they do the good ol' "celebrity confirmation", the group proceeds to invite Bill Murray into their karaoke room.

15 minutes later, Bill Murray knocks on their door.

Bill Murray and the girl he's with – notably from Amsterdam – sing a bunch of French songs and buy everyone these weird green drinks made with Chartreuse. After these, Bill Murray himself sings an Elvis song with Mike – and the group, of course, takes a bunch of photos.

Believable?

The photos are pretty irrefutable, but the verdict is still vague. There have been a few discrepancies, first being exactly when this incident took place. It was also first reported that he showed up at Karaoke One with a group of women, then later corrected that it was one Dutch woman. The details aren't 100% clear; however, Murray is known for randomly crashing strangers' parties, so there's a good chance this one is true. And it is probably the realization of every Bill Murray fan's biggest dream.

Amazing.

(Source)
Bill Murray Dances to "Turn Down For What" at a Birthday Party
Marvin Larry Reynolds, of Jedburg, South Carolina, invited Murray to his 64th birthday party in September 2014. Of course, Murray showed up. But he didn't just sit quietly in the corner. Chef Brett McKee, a friend of Murray's, was catering the party and blessed the internet with some fantastic pictures from the party, and even video of Murray and other attendees dancing to classic tracks like "Turn Down For What."

(Source)
Bill Murray Accidentally Stars in Garfield
The Story:

Bill Murray sees the name "Joel Cohen" (THIS Joel Cohen) attached to the Garfield script, believing it's the famed director of Fargo, The Big Lebowski, Barton Fink, and No Country for Old Men – Joel Coen... as in THIS Joel Coen (no H, you see). Academy Award-winning Joel Coen.

According to Esquire magazine, Murray says: "I looked at the script, and it said, 'So-and-so and Joel Coen.' And I thought: Christ, well, I love those Coens! They're funny. So I sorta read a few pages of it and thought, Yeah, I'd like to do that."

Then he saw the movie. And only AFTER that did he realize that it wasn't Joel Coen, but Joel Cohen. No Fargo, No Country for Old Men or Big Lebowski – no, this one was Daddy Day Camp (the sequel to Daddy Day Care), Evan Almighty, and Cheaper By the Dozen Joel Cohen.

"I kept saying, 'Who the hell cut this thing? Who did this? What the f**k was Coen thinking?' And then they explained it to me: It wasn't written by that Joel Coen."

Believable?

Although this might be the actor-celebrity version of sleeping with someone questionable and then claiming you were drunk, there's obviously no doubting the accuracy of the interview. It's just a shame that it took the movie being finished before Murray realized his mistake. But hey, every paycheck helps - even someone like Bill Murray, so why the hell not?

(Source)
Bill Murray Pairs Up with Blonde Girl in Foreign Country... Goes to Party
... kind of like in Lost in Translation.

The Story:

One evening after a golf tournament in St. Andrews, Bill Murray decides to go out and explore the city.

He's out for drinks with fellow golfers when he meets young a beautiful blonde Nordic woman named Lykke Stavnef, who is there with her friend Marie Bergene –and who, naturally, invites him to a party.

Bill Murray says yes.

When they show up, no one can believe that 22-year-old Stavnef has brought him to a house party. She's concerned that there are not enough clean dishes there, so Bill Murray actually decides to start washing dishes. Everyone is amused when he cleans some dishes so that people can drink, but even more charmed when he happily accepts drinking vodka out of a coffee mug.

Before he leaves, he finishes cleaning the feet-high dishes pile left by the college students, then heads back to his hotel.

Believable?

Well, it was reported by telegraph.co.uk, which has a slight problem with credibility... However, there were also over a dozen eye witnesses. This is not only believable, but it is absolutely awesome how humble, nice, and cool Bill Murray was.

New Rule: if you meet Bill Murray somewhere and he seems relaxed and in a good mood, and it's late enough, invite him to a party.

(Source)
Bill Murray Thinks Autographs Are Boring, Films Slowmo Walk
The Story:

Like most celebrities, Bill Murray isn't a fan of being bothered for his autograph. Unlike most celebrities, it's because he finds it too impersonal.

One day, Bill Murray is doing a shoot for a guy, and that guy's friend asks him for an autograph. Instead of just writing his name on a piece of paper, Bill gives them something better. He films a slow motion walk down the hall with all the guys à la Wes Anderson.

Proof!

(Source)
Bill Murray Crashes a White House Press Conference to Rep the Cubs

On October 21, 2016, Bill Murray took the stage in the White House briefing room to announce the Chicago Cubs will make it to the World Series in 2016. A life-long time Cubs fan, Murray wore a beautiful, understated Cubs pullover to drive his point home.
"I feel very confident that Clayton Kershaw is a great, great pitcher, but we've got too many sticks," Murray said. Reporters, playing along, referred to the actor as Mr. President, and nodded along as he offered his analysis as to why it's more appropriate a team from Chicago play in the fall classic than a team from LA.
"We also have a little bit of autumn in Chicago. You don't get that in Los Angeles. Trees just die in Los Angeles. In Illinois, they flourish." Murray was at the White House to receive the Mark Twain Prize from President Obama, and stopped by the briefing room moments after a press conference wrapped.

The 17 Craziest Cannibal Attacks in History

Cannibalism is one of the strangest and most disgusting crimes a person can possibly commit. This is a list about the craziest real-life cannibal attacks that have ever happened, either in a single incident or over a series of years (and sometimes, decades). All the famous cannibals on this list killed people with intent to eat or at least cook their victims. I've excluded people like the tribes of the West Indies and Maori tribes and other cultures were cannibalism was just a part of life. The real cannibals on this list committed these crimes while living within the rules of Western society and all of the crimes on this list were horribly violent. These are the worst, most depraved, and most well-known famous cannibals and cannibalistic serial killers in human history.
The 17 Craziest Cannibal Attacks in History,

Husband, Father Keeps Fridge of Horrors in His Home

Matej Curko was not a good person. He had a wife and kids, sure, but he also managed to not only become a cannibal, but he used the Internet to lure in his victims. This happened in Slovakia, though, which is most likely why Chris Hansen never caught him.

Over the Internet, Curko would trick his victims into meeting with him. Then he would somehow (as some people on this list inexplicably do) convince them to a suicide and cannibalism pact - or he would just kidnap them, kill them, and then eat them.

He kept an extensive "Fridge of Horrors" that included the bodies of two women who had disappeared the previous year.

During a sting operation that was (sadly) not televised, an agent was made to meet up with him for some suicide and food. When Curko pulled out a gun and started shooting at officers, the worst snipers in the world shot him five times and he still lived.

He was apprehended, but died later that day in the hospital.

He was later linked to the disappearance of 30 Italian women.

His wife, who is inexplicably cute, stood by him and denied his crimes up to the very end (at which point she still denied them).

Source
Matthew Williams's Last Meal Is a Woman's Face
Suspected murderer Matthew Williams, 34, was caught in a hotel room in November 2014, eating parts of a 22-year-old woman's face. He had been released a few weeks prior, having served a five-year prison sentence for a violent attack on his partner, who happened to live near the hotel at which he was staying.

Security staff called the police after they discovered him allegedly eating the woman, face first. According to Jill Edwards, a local resident who described Williams as "an animal," they entered his room after not getting a response from Williams, who is also known by the nickname "Fifi."

This attack would prove to be his last, as he was struck by a high voltage taser used by the police to assist in his apprehension. He was formally arrested following the tasing, but moments later became "unresponsive" and died.

Source: The Telegraph
Miami Naked Zombie Cannibal Attack
On May 26th, 2012, 31 year-old Rudy Eugene ripped off his clothes and began attacking a homeless man who didn't even look that delicious in broad daylight in Miami, FL. He began by tearing away at the homeless man's face with his teeth. Apparently Eugene was on the drug commonly known as "Bath Salts," which in recent years, has caused some of the most uniquely insane and bizarre crimes to hit the news.

The victim, Ronald Poppo (age 65), was just an innocent person in the way of Eugene's Bath Salts-filled rage.

Bath salts are described as synthetic cocaine which, according to doctors, feels like Meth, Cocaine, and PCP combined. The drug is said to cause body temperature to rise to such a degree that people rip off their clothes and become extremely aggressive, most of the time in a stage of "extreme delirium." People have been known to use their jaws for violence and "become extremely strong."

When the surveillance footage of the attack was released, it showed Eugene jumping onto the homeless man, who was sleeping at the time, stripping him of his own clothes (as Eugene was already naked), then starting to eat the homeless man's face off.

One of the most disturbing things about the attack is not only how long it took (about 20 minutes of this kind of torture), a car slowed down to look at what they were seeing then drove off and probably, understandably, started boarding up their windows and conserving ammo for the on-coming zombie apocalypse.

A media frenzy followed during which a lot of popular websites took the opportunity to declare the zombie apocalypse, even though this clearly proves that we can definitely handle it when it comes.

These gruesome pictures which you really, really should not look at if you have a weak stomach or while eating or at all if you hate even the slightest amount of blood show that Eugene ate the man's face off all the way down to his beard. The man's face, nose, one eye, forehead, and mouth are missing.

Poppo unfortunately lived throughout this entire ordeal and was still living in the hospital as of June 2014.

Check out more details about the "Miami Zombie" here and here.
Albert Fish: One of the Worst People of All Time
Born Hamilton Howard Fish on May 19, 1870, the man who would later be known as "The Gray Man," "The Werewolf," "The Brooklyn Vampire," and "The Boogey Man," grew up in an orphanage where he was introduced to drinking urine and eating feces. Not really a great start.

By 1890, he went to New York City and became a male prostitute, at which point he started raping young boys, mostly under the age of six.

A male lover once took him to a wax museum where he saw and was fascinated by a bisection of a penis (which is when a penis is split directly in half), which led to his obsession with castration, which he tried on a few of his victims.

He had "implements of Hell" (a butcher knife, a bone saw, and a meat cleaver), which he would use to torture, mutilate, and murder young children. He boasted to have a child he's either abused or eaten in every state in the U.S., but was only ever actually suspected of and convicted for about eight of them.

The case that really made him famous (as it was what led to his final arrest) was the abduction and murder of Grace Budd (pictured above). He pretended to be taking her to his niece's birthday party, to which her parents consented, but was never brought back.

Here is the letter he sent the parents (WARNING, VERY GRAPHIC) describing exactly how he coerced her into trusting him, the fact that they all had lunch together, consented to her leaving, and details about how he stripped her, killed her, ate her, which parts tasted the best and the fact that he did not rape her.

He was executed via electric chair.
Man Attacked, Beheaded, Eaten on Public Bus

Vince Weiguang Li proves that not all Canadians are amazingly nice human beings who enjoy poutine and maple syrup. Some of them are complete monsters and can be found in the most unsuspecting places sometimes.

On a Greyhound bus, the new Canadian citizen, who immigrated from China, completely snapped and caused one of the most horrific scenes I've ever heard of (that actually happened) with a twist (wait for the end).

While sitting next to passenger Tim McLean (who was sleeping), Li produced a huge knife and began to stab him repeatedly in the neck and chest until McLean was completely decapitated (which just shows how badly some people hate sitting next to a snorer).

Li walked around showing the severed head to the rest of the passengers as they screamed and ran out of the bus in fear of being brutally dismembered as well. Li never left the bus, but stayed back and continued dismembering the man and consumed McLean's flesh, all while carrying around the severed head.

Out of respect for the dead, I will not mention the irony of McLean's last name or the fact that his name makes him already sound like a "nutritious" sandwich option at McDonald's.

Li ate McLean's eyes, ears, nose and tongue. He's currently at a maximum security mental facility.

But wait! There's more!

He had the knife on him for protection. "Why?" you may ask. Well the why, of course, is because he needed protection from the aliens.

He told authorities later that he believed the voice of God told him to do all this:

“The voice told me that I was the third story of the Bible, that I was like the second coming of Jesus (and that) I was to save people from a space alien attack,”

... at which point Jon Favreau started writing down ideas for a sequel to that movie nobody liked.

Li then said:"I was really scared. I remember cutting off his head. I believed he was an alien. The voices told me to kill him, that he would kill me or others. I do not believe this now,”

Oh. Good. Good for him.

Source
Man Kills Classmate During Study Session, Eats Her, Goes Free
The following is an interview with the cannibal himself where he chronicles why he did what he did and the fact that he actually enjoyed it.

Issei Sagawa became a notorious semi-celebrity in his native Japan in 1981 after killing and eating a Dutch exchange student named Renee Hartevelt. After inviting Hartevelt to his apartment in Paris to read and study poetry, he shot her in the neck, had sex with her corpse, and then spent two days carving up and eating her body. Sagawa later said that he had hoped that by eating the beautiful Hartevelt, he would absorb some of her healthy energy.

Initially imprisoned in France for the crime, Sagawa was later extradited in Japan, where his crime became a subject of intense public fascination. The above is a documentary film about Sagawa that aired in Scandinavia in the 1980s called Cannibal Superstar. The scariest bit? Sagawa is currently a free man, living in Tokyo and working as a writer, restaurant reviewer (!!!), and guest speaker.
Cannibal Kills 19 People with His Mom
Currently residing in a psychiatric hospital, Alexander Spesivtsev killed up to 80 people (but was only convicted of 19) and ate a good majority of them. Unsurprisingly, he's been declared insane and is thankfully behind government-secured doors in Russia (pro tip: never try the street meat).

He was initially discovered and caught when his pipes started malfunctioning in his house. A pipe breakage forced his neighbors to call a plumber, who had to open his door by force when Spesivtsev wasn't home.

The plumber found a mutilated, headless body in the bathtub, bowls with pieces of human meat in them in the kitchen, and a mutilated Olga Galtseva somehow still alive on the sofa. She died shortly after, but was able to tell her story.

The creepiest part is that Spesivtsev's mother was luring the women into the apartment for him to rape, beat, kill, and eat.

The mother, of course, cooked the bodies for dinner after a hard day of living out The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. He was sentenced to death after being found guilty of 19 murders.

Source
Mom Tries to Eat Newborn Baby
24-year-old Li Zhenghua was spotted chewing on her newborn son's arm just minutes after giving birth. A nurse found the new mom with her teeth locked around the baby's wrist. Hospital staff were eventually able to pry the woman's mouth open and rescue the little boy, but not before he sustained heavy bruising and bleeding.

Zhenghua is suspected to have been living on the streets for several weeks after her mother kicked her out of the house despite being pregnant.

Source: Metro

Man Kills Prostitutes, Old Rich Guys For Food
He exclusively killed wealthy older men and young prostitutes.

Yoo Young-chul, a South Korean gentleman, had a pretty simple philosophy: "Women shouldn't be sluts, and the rich should know what they've done." These were his motives for killing and eating people.

Like a lot of people on this list, Yoo had a history of mutilating animals.

He murdered 21 people between 2003 and 2004. He burned three of them and mutilated the rest, eating some of their livers raw.

He killed most of his victims with a hammer, which seems to be a pattern in these kinds of crimes. The real reason he seemed to gravitate towards killing prostitutes, though, was that one dumped him after he tried to have a romantic relationship with her.

He pretty much stuck to them from there on out until he was finally caught in July of 2004.

Found out about this guy on a little site called Murderpedia. Yes, that's right. Murderpedia.
Rapper Big Lurch Does PCP, Eats Friend
On April 9th of 2002, rapper Big Lurch, aka Antron Singleton, and his friend, Thomas Moore, spent the night smoking PCP, which they blame for Big Lurch's actions during the next 24 hours.

Big Lurch had been using PCP for the pain caused by years-before car accident in which he was hit by a drunk driver. But this one night, the medication really just got away from him. According to interviews, the last thing he remembers is that he had to kill the Devil before the world ended. This is most likely what led to his episode.

Big Lurch murdered his roommate, Tynisha Ysais, and consumed parts of her body. Tooth marks were found on her face and lungs, which were completely torn from her chest cavity.

When Singleton was finally arrested, he was naked, covered in blood, and standing in the middle of the street yelling at the sky.

After he was arrested and was sentenced to life in prison. he was found to have human flesh in his stomach.

Train Conductors Describe the Creepiest Things They

Trains have been an integral part of civilized society for over 200 years. The railways open up a whole new world for shipping, travel, agriculture and leisure. These beast-like machines are still in large part operated by human beings, and those people have seen some things.

Railroad workers took to Reddit to share stories of the creepiest moments they experienced on the job. There are the inevitable stories of road (or track) kill, and some that will make your skin crawl.

There is something inherently creepy about trains. Long stretches of track completely segregated from the rest of society, often operating in the dead of night? Needless to say, there are plenty of opportunities for strange, sometimes unexplainable events to occur.
Train Conductors Describe the Creepiest Things They've Seen,

Railway engineer finds remnance of suicide during inspection
"I'm a railway engineer in the UK, and the holidays are the worst time for suicides. I'd been track inspecting the clean up of a suicide the night before, and they've missed a few bits. So what appears to be a bit of skull or knee cap can be seen lying about. The worst bit was the smell."
Train runs over corpse that was just hit by a previous train
"I think finding a body that was hit by a previous train might have been the creepiest. I've hit a few cars and people before but I never had to go back and look (that's the conductor's job). The person we found wasn't really identifiable as a human being, just a pile of meat. What gave it away were the scraps of clothing mixed into the pile."
Hobo seeks shelter in an empty train car, only to be smothered to death by grains
"A hobo was found dead in a hooper car (the kind that are open and typically hold grain). They figured, since it was the summer, he wanted more air circulation, and hopped in that one. Well, the car was filled and no one really looks in it while doing so. The body wasn't discovered until the car was unloaded."
Man sees ghost of crash victim walking away from the derailment
"My dad, who is a no nonsense man, came home one night after a derailment and was white as a sheet. He told my mom he met a man walking away from the derailment, which was in the middle of the woods. He didn't think it was too weird, because some people check out wrecks and derailments. Anyway, my dad gets to the derailment. The cause of the derailment was a truck had been hit, and then pushed by the engine. Now, none of this is weird until my dad sees the deceased man in the truck... it looked like a beat up version of the man he saw on the way to the derailment."
Conductor sees mysterious man in trench coat

"Conductor here. One time in the middle of the night in the middle of winter (10 degrees and a foot of snow on the ground) my train went into emergency. I had to walk the length of the train to see what the problem was. The train was right in the middle of a very small town. As I'm walking by one of the houses on the outskirts of this town, I see a guy standing in the driveway about 50 feet from me, wearing a trench coat and a sock hat type thing. The first thing that struck me as odd is that it was way too cold to be wearing just a trench coat. I shine my lantern on the guy, wave, and say 'Hi.' Nothing. The guy doesn't even move.

I continue walking past the guy to the end the train while looking back very often. I get to the end, turn around and head back. I get back to the house where this guy is standing and he is still there in the same place in the same position. I don't even say anything this time. I just speed walk back to the head of the train. The next day I'm taking a train back home during the day. I'm paying special attention to this house as we go by it. There is nothing there. The drive isn't shoveled. Nothing is there that could have been mistaken for a guy in a trench coat. I have since been by this house dozens of times and I have never seen a car parked there, or a light on or anything at all."
This is as creepy, and more explosive

Dog's head mounted on crucifix pops up next to isolated tracks
"Creepiest thing I ever saw was in West Philly. Someone cut a pitbull's head off and stuck it on sticks in the shape of a cross beside the track. They stuffed fruit and flowers in the body where the head was and spread flowers around it. There was an unlit candle at the base of the cross. Looked like some f*cked up voodoo sh*t."
Strung out junkie masturbates on tracks, nearly gets run over
"I work in Houston as an engineer, and we usually putt around town between 10-20 mph. Slow enough for a naked crack head to jump out of a bush by a city park and start pleasuring herself in front of the engine. I guess she really likes trains."
Woman jumps infront of train, recovered body looks like a different person

"I am a freight conductor. We hit a young lady walking between the two main tracks at like five in the morning. That sucks- and dead bodies are creepy on their own, but the craziest part was that I thought we hit two different people. The woman that I saw was white, heavy set, and in her late 40s she was walking toward the train leaning out in front of us. When myself and the brakeman walked back to find the woman, what we found did not match what I had seen. She did not go under the train, so she was mostly in one piece. We found a Latina woman who was very thin. I later found out she was in her early 20s. Now I thought I was crazy, but the brakeman started asking me if we had hit two people, and described the woman in her 40s the same as I had seen her. Needless to say we only hit one person. He and I were convinced that this young girl was possessed by some evil entity. The face I saw before we hit her still pops into my mind occasionally it was evil, twisted and full of pain."

Train hits deer; man in camo shows up to butcher it

"I worked on the signaling for the light rail system in Pittsburgh. We would do all of our testing late at night, after revenue hours. Lots of wildlife around the tracks. As we were moving along at about 50 mph, a whitetail deer jumps out onto the tracks, and we clobber the poor thing. The engineer doesn't hesitate, gets on the radio, and tells central control to call Hannibal Lecter, and gives the milepost. I look at him sideways, but he doesn't explain. We continue our run into the city, turnaround, and head back out the same way. As we come up on the site where we hit the deer there is a guy in full camouflage on the side of the railroad, butchering the carcass, with a big pile of steaming deer guts next to the track (did I mention it was about 15 degrees F and snowing)? Engineer gives a toot on the horn and we continue with our run..."

Train comes in for repairs covered in red mush
"I was working at a BNSF railway in Stockton, CA maintaining the cranes that pull cars off the tracks when a freight engine rolled in with the front end a little caved in, covered in red.

The entire front end was covered in what appeared to be red bloody chunks a paste leftover from rolling through maybe a herd of cattle, or a hoard of zombies... I didn't know what to think. I felt my stomach churn, and my coworker turned green and heaved a bit.

I asked the foreman what happened, he told me some teenager jumped out in front of it. Later, I grew a pair and walked up to it as these folks were cleaning it without any signs of being affected by the sight. Turns out the train hit a stalled fiberglass trailer filled with tomatoes that was headed to the Hunts cannery in Oakdale."

Park Rangers Describe Creepiest Things They

We've all been frightened by things that go bump in the night, but imagine hearing those scary sounds isolated in a forest, miles away from mankind and any sort of salvation. That's the reality for many park rangers. Rangers are often left to venture out and care for parks on their own, often going weeks or month without interacting with another human being. In that quiet time, some pretty creepy things can happen out in the wilderness.

We hiked over to Reddit, where we found some of the creepiest things park rangers have seen or experienced. From nature at its roughest to unexplained phenomena, these tales may make you want trade in your tent for good.
Park Rangers Describe Creepiest Things They've Seen,

Suicide victim left hanging from tree for hours until medical examiner arrives
"I found a dead man in a tree... I am a seasonal ranger for my local forest district. The rest of the rangers say we find about one suicide a year, so here was the one for the year. When we go around opening parks each day, we drive through to make sure everything is OK. In this instance, I was driving through, and had just lost sight of the road when I saw a man hanging from a tree in a clearing. He had hung himself. I called the cops and the coroner... the coroner took an hour to show up, and he was the only one with a ladder long enough to cut the guy down.... so I stared at a dead guy in a tree for an hour."
Ranger finds thumb nailed to tree

"[I saw] a human thumb nailed to a tree."
Yikes! That's scary, but this is even worse!

Ranger followed by cougar for days
"The scariest experience I had as a back-country park ranger in Washington State was being stalked by a cougar for a day and a half. I was hiking up an unpopular trail up to an old shelter and had that creepy 'being watched' feeling. I had seen fairly fresh cougar scratches and scats along the trail but that's pretty common up here so I wasn't worried at all. That night I camped at the shelter, which only had three walls and a roof. I felt uneasy all night and hardly slept. At one point (chiding myself for being paranoid) I arranged my emergency foil tarp around my sleeping bag so at least I could hopefully hear something if it approached me as I slept. The next day I found FRESH scat and scratches on the trail I had hiked in on. About a mile past the shelter I found a mostly-eaten deer in some dense brush off the trail. Cougars often keep kills stashes throughout their territory for later snacking. Now a cougar won't usually tangle with a human, but here I am a five foot tall, 100 pound sack of flesh and bones at least 13 miles out from any other humans. I decided to cut short my three-day trip, and hot-footed it out of there. The last two hours of hiking through dusk in a dense forest was the most hair-raising hike I've ever had. I didn't know I was capable of being that hyper-vigilant."
Family pet shot and left to die in the forest
"US Forest Service here: dog skeleton, still leashed to a tree, bullet hole in skull."
Perfectly severed deer head found on isolated trail in Yellowstone
"I'm a ranger at Yellowstone. Couple weeks ago I was exploring the Lamar Valley, about 11 miles from the nearest road and even further to the park boundary.

There, in the middle of the trail, is a perfectly severed deer head. No blood, no raggedness at the severance. Perfectly in tact.

This is weird because I have seen wolf and bear kills, and I used to find cougar kills in SD with radio tracking just after the cougar made them.

This was not any of those things. The head was completely uneaten - eyes, tongue, everything intact. Even the ravens hadn't touched it yet. No caching, no scat. Right smack in the trail, but again, no blood.

Even a human doing it made no conventional sense. It was a doe so it had no antlers, plus, why leave it in the trail?

Whole thing, even in broad daylight, gave me chills. Just an ocean of waving grass, bison calmly grazing, and a perfectly clean deer head right on the path."

Mysterious stranger stalks camp at night

"I once led a trip to the top of Mt. Sterling in North Carolina. It's a tough climb to get to the top, and about six miles from the nearest road. I was leading a group of eight middle school kids and had one co-instructor. We were camping out on top of the mountain, and it was a beautiful night with a full moon. The kids and the other co-instructor went to bed in their tents. I chose to spend the night in a hammock that night. I was really into a book I was reading so I stayed up and read until about 10:30 PM. I turned my headlamp off to settle in for the night. Everything around me was rather bright from the moon and from the position I was in. I could see down the trail we had hiked to get to the top. I laid there enjoying the scenery and noticed something moving on the trail. Bears are common in the area so I perked up. As it got closer, I could tell it was a person. We were in the middle of nowhere and there was someone hiking up the trail with no headlamp or any gear. I was just frozen, watching this person move closer to our camp. They arrived at the top of the mountain where we were and just stopped. I watched as what appeared to be a man surveyed our camp. I really could only see the outline of him. He stood there for what seemed like 30 minutes but may have been 10. He then turned and sat down under a tree facing our camp. He was sitting up in a way that I knew he wasn't trying to sleep. He just sat there staring at our camp. I had no idea what to do. I decided to wait it out. I waited, just staring at the man while he stared at my camp. This went on until about 3:30 AM. Then, he stood up, took a moment to survey my camp a few minutes longer and then went back down the trail he came up on. I, to this day have no idea what that was all about but it freaked me out. I was paranoid that we were being followed for the rest of the trip."
Check out more mysterious, wacky stories from parks here.

Search for teen hikers runs through creepy clearing filled with mutilated children's toys
"There was a group of teens that hadn't been heard from after their scheduled return time from a camping trip. [A coworker] and I head out in the general direction the teens had set off in. We'd been hiking for most of the day and seen nothing. We're about 35km into the woods at this point when we start noticing odd things. Sticks carved like spears stuck into the ground, weird carvings in the trees, a child's stuffed animal hanging from a noose up in a tree. This place was nowhere near any roads, it wasn't on the regular trails people would go on in the area. The really eerie thing was that everything was freshly-carved. Somebody had been there within a couple of hours of us and made these things. Mind you we're still looking for these teens. We kept on hiking and eventually made camp for the night still kind of on edge from what we had seen earlier but we settle down anyway and go to sleep. We get up with the sunrise hoping to cover more ground before it gets to hot. We pack up the gear and get ready to go when I notice a bit of shirt that had caught on a small tree and ripped along with some shoe prints. We were thinking: great maybe we're close by to the teens, when a radio call comes through. The teens had just been found 20 kilometers east of us, and they're calling everybody back. All those weird things we had seen from the day before came flooding back into my mind, and we wasted no time hiking out of those woods."
Children visit park to see animals, find human molars instead
"Our park lets kids from school in so they can look for animals in the forest and the streams.
One day a kid finds molars. The teeth looked like human molars, but the teacher said they were a deer's. I dismissed it and completely forgot about it.

Two days later, they found a corpse with a smashed skull and jaw in another part of the park. All its teeth were missing.

A local news paper covered it, but all they had to say was thank the spooky skeletons for good bones and teeth."

Park worker finds abandoned house with sinister shed
"A shed behind an abandoned house with a steel reinforced door broken off the hinges. The windows of the shed were boarded up from the outside. The only thing inside the shed was a queen size bed with shredded, partly singed white sheets."
Random gunshot fired in the middle of nowhere
"Camping 80+ miles from any thing resembling civilization. Lying in the tent talking before falling asleep when all of the sudden a gunshot rings out no more than 100 yards away. Then hearing the sound slowly travel away. Then quiet."

The Craziest True Stories of How Brain Damage Changed People

The brain is the most complex organ in the human body, and as such, any injury to it can have a profound impact on an individual. Brain damage can result from a number of diagnoses, including strokes, traumatic brain injuries, and brain tumors. On this list, you will discover some of the craziest and most interesting cases of brain damage changing personalities, behaviors, emotions, and skills.

One of the most famous cases of brain damage causing personality changes is that of Phineas Gage. In the 1800s, a tamping iron went through his head when he was working on a railroad. Reports claim that, after surviving the accident, Gage's personality was drastically altered. This particular case of brain injury was significant in the fields of neurology and psychology, as it suggested a link between the frontal lobe of the brain and personality.

From newfound artistic talent to criminal behavior, here are some of the craziest stories of people whose personalities changed after brain damage.
The Craziest True Stories of How Brain Damage Changed People,

Australian Woman Speaks with French Accent
After recovering from a serious car crash in 2005, Leanne Rowe was left with a newly acquired French-sounding accent. Struggling to accept her new voice, Rowe has become reclusive and often has her daughter speak for her. This extremely rare condition is known as foreign accent syndrome and was first reported in 1907.
Texas Woman Gains an English Accent
In June 2016, Rosenberg, Texas native Lisa Alamia woke up from jaw surgery with an English accent. The surgery somehow affected Alamia's brain, causing her to develop a neurological disorder called foreign accent syndrome, which is exactly what it sounds like.

Said Alamia's daughter Kayla, “I thought she was joking with me. But then she showed me that the doctor diagnosed her with foreign accent syndrome. Then I was like, ‘Oh, Lord.’”
Canadian Woman Becomes a Dominatrix
After suffering brain trauma in a 2008 car accident, Alissa Afonina was left with a new personality and an increased sex drive. The once studious and outgoing girl was now detached and struggling in school. Due to the effects of her brain injury, Afonina chose a career as a professional dominatrix under the name Sasha Mizaree.
Man Loses the Ability to Feel Sad
Ever since he suffered a stroke in 2004, Malcolm Myatt has been unable to feel sadness. The stroke affected his frontal lobe, which is the region of the brain that regulates emotions. Myatt sees being happy all the time as an advantage.
Chiropractor Becomes an Artist
In August 1989, 35-year-old Jon Sarkin suffered a stroke and underwent surgery that removed part of his brain. After the surgery, Sarkin had the inexplicable urge to draw, something he had no interest in before. Sarkin became a prolific artist and his work has been shown around the world.
Straight Rugby Player Becomes Gay Hairdresser
Former rugby player Chris Birch claims that a stroke he suffered back in 2005 changed his sexual orientation. After a failed backflip broke his neck and induced the stroke, Birch experienced drastic changes to his personality and lifestyle; he lost interest in sports, traded in his girlfriend for a boyfriend, and began a new career as a hairdresser.
Doctor Becomes a Pianist After Being Struck by Lightning
In 1994, 42-year-old orthopedic surgeon Tony Cicoria was talking to his mother on a pay phone when he was suddenly struck by lightning. A few weeks after the incident, he developed a penchant for piano music and began teaching himself to play. Prior to his near death experience, Cicoria was indifferent to music, but was now driven to spend his days composing. He continues to work as a surgeon and a pianist.
Italian Man Turns Into Social Chameleon
After suffering brain damage and memory loss due to cardiac arrest, a 65-year-old man's identity began to take on new forms. In a sense, he became a social chameleon, constantly adapting his identity to match his surroundings. For example, if the man was with an accountant, he would then play the role of one and invent an entire career backstory for his new personality.
An Iron Rod Through the Skull Changes a Man
Back in 1848, 25-year-old Phineas Gage was working on a railroad in Vermont when an explosion caused a tamping iron to shoot straight through his head. Miraculously, Gage survived the accident and has since become one of neurology's most famous cases of brain injury. Though the true extent of his personality change remains unknown, the effects of the rod are believed to have been so profound that even Gage's friends considered him "no longer Gage."
Salesman Becomes a Mathematical Genius
In 2002, Jason Padgett was assaulted by two men and left with a severe concussion. Remarkably, the attack also turned Padgett into a mathematical genius and gave him the ability to visualize geometric shapes and angles. He is one of just a few people in the world this has happened to; it's called "acquired savant syndrome."

The 13 Sexiest Psycho Girlfriends in Internet History

Nothing puts an expiration date on a relationship quite like invading the personal space and property of a man and then destroying something he holds dear. Here are 13 videos of crazy girlfriends, who also happen to be pretty damn hot, destroying Jaguars, XBoxes, balls, PS3s, fingers, Star Wars collections, and most importantly, dreams. Girls are ranked both by their craziness and hotness... what?

EDIT: Hey, I'm really glad my list is getting out there and that people are reading! BUT... are most of these real or fake? Well, it's the Internet, so you can come to expect a lot of both. Either way, these girls are part of Internet history, no?

These sexy girlfriends, for better or worse, totally lost it... and it's almost too much fun to watch.
The 13 Sexiest Psycho Girlfriends in Internet History, videos, geeky, babes, internet, anything, fails, other, true stories,

Girlfriend Deletes WOW Characters
While a World of Warcraft addict goes out to get a pack of cigarettes (that he apparently smokes indoors, so his house will end up smelling like the '70s), his girlfriend expresses, on video, her disdain for his favorite pastime.

She goes on to say that she's going to fix this, which at this point in the list is absolutely terrifying. This guy was supposed to be going on a raid that night, and much like cutting off the water supply in the city as soon as firefighters are needed to put out a fire at a five-story orphanage, she makes sure that it's not possible for him to raid.

What does she do? She erases hundreds of hours of work by deleting 5-6 (read: ALL of his) Warcraft characters. People have been killed for doing less. This is like throwing paint on a famous work of modern art, or knocking over an award-winning sandcastle right before the judging.

Understandably, the guy is pissed, but after the initial "I just lost my wallet" feeling he experiences, he flips a lid, and doesn't even suspect his girlfriend. He takes it out on his monitor. It's pretty brutal, and she's pretty insane. Why is she on this list? Well... she sounds kinda hot, but her "psycho" quality is off the freaking charts.

Also, it's more probable than not that she's hot because most of the girls who pull this stuff on the Internet, and are so comfortable (for some reason) talking to cameras (which is literally talking to a machine while you're alone) are attractive and are used to a lot of attention because of that and fight back when they don't get it.

Ugh.
Girlfriend Pranks (Beats?) Boyfriend for Not Picking Her Up From Work
Alright, so this one's actually pretty funny. Click here to view the full video. This girl is pretty insane, and you can definitely tell she's up to something, but she's got some pretty great curves. Let's move on...

So basically, a guy does something careless because he probably has better things to do with his life, and he accidentally forgets to pick up his girlfriend. By the looks of him, he was probably doing something really important to him like playing a pick-up game of basketball or beating up people that look "diffrn't."

So he gets home, his girlfriend plans out a cute little ploy to make sure that she can get this on camera, so she calls out the other guy in the room as having been playing with the camera all day. She tells him a series of knock knock jokes and then finally pulls her trick.

It is actually quite magnificent. She not only splashes water on his face (which is already taking it a tad too far), but slaps him hard across the face immediately following the water. After the water, her coup de gras, she knees him really hard in the balls, sending him falling back against the wall behind him. The most heartbreaking part is that she does all of this right after he apologizes.

Never EVER forget to pick up your psycho girlfriend with way too much time on her hands from her work (most likely as "the cashier that will ruin your day" at the local Rite Aid.)
German Girls Destroy Cheater's Jaguar in Broad Daylight
Click here for the video of three cute French girls destroying a guy's Jaguar .

These adorable German girls publicly play a real-life version of the bonus level from Street Fighter II with a guy's Jaguar.

They start out by scratching it by hand with small tools, and then manage to get everything from shovels to wheel barrows to destroy a pretty nice, dark green Jaguar. They smash the car and kick it and are captured by many different cameras, YouTubers, and camera phones, so much that the person who made the clip linked above cut together all the footage in an almost-too-good-to-be-true display of vengeance.

Apparently, the guy cheated on her... which is definitely grounds for some kind of payment, but this was a little much. What if they got the wrong Jaguar?
Hot Sugar Momma Destroys PS3
This girl is probably dead. This guy sounded pretty pissed.

So as one of the guys who actually kind of seems like he has it coming on this list, this fed-up girlfriend (who goes to school, pays all the bills, and still doesn't even get to sleep with her boyfriend because he's up all night playing video games... instead of looking for a job) decides, at 3 AM, to teach her boyfriend a lesson.

She angrily stomps downstairs and asks her boyfriend if he knows what time it is. He says no because he's too busy playing the really overrated and underwhelming Ghostbusters game that came out in 2009 and then (clearly not detecting that she's as angry as she is), he tells her to get him something to drink.

This is when s**t truly hits the fan.

She goes nuts on his new PS3 (this is when it first came out, too, so they were actually pretty rare at the time... and extremely expensive), smashes it, and then the camera cuts out after he throws her off of the wreckage of his new purchase.
Call of Duty 4 or Girlfriend?
So basically, this insanely hot girl is sick of her boyfriend playing video games with his friends all the time. And much like everyone on this list, she doesn't talk to him about it, she doesn't leave him or try and consider why she IS with him; she decides to go insane.

She tells the guy filming, who obviously wants to bang her, what is going on as this douche prepares to pull a horrible, expensive, and heartless prank on a guy who probably doesn't completely deserve it. She grabs a bat from her HUGE truck and walks in on her boyfriend and all his friends playing video games and smashes the XBox repeatedly with the bat while they're playing games, ostensibly losing them a crucial match that embarrassed them all.

The most annoying part is how hard the douchebag who's taping this is laughing. He's obviously too ugly for her to want to bang him, so he's trying to get in her good graces, so he supports completely dissing someone who he probably pretended to be "bros" with on camera.

So to answer the question posed by this YouTube video "Call of Duty 4 or Girlfriend?" even though she's kind of a Hispanic Kristen Bell, the answer in this case is "Call of Duty 4 IS my girlfriend" (which is probably so true for so many of us...)
Pissed Off Girlfriend Unloads His Stuff in NYC
This crazy/beautiful redhead loads up her SUV with a guy named Stephen's belongings and yells at him on a public street in New York. She unloads his most valuable belongings while smashing them in front of a small crowd.

Luckily, one of them chose to film it with their camera phone. As she's standing there, symbolically breaking all of this cheating bastard's belongings, she smashes his laptop, bends his golf clubs, and almost smashes his flatscreen TV before one of the bystanders begs her not to. She doesn't, and the guy gets a free TV, which must have been one of the coolest moments of his life.

She goes on to yell at the guy and curse him for what he did in a public forum, which goes to show that you should never EVER cheat on your girlfriend because, among other things, you never know what kind of monster you're going to create.
Mousetraps
In another mean-for-no-reason act of psychosis, a girlfriend decides to prank on her boyfriend just because.

The prank? To make sure she never gets treated to an expensive dinner, and that he'll never wait until she finishes first, ever again.

This blonde girl sets up a series of mousetraps in a row, (about 12 or so mousetraps) and decides to make her boyfriend fall down on them, attacking his fingers, legs, chest, face, and anywhere else a trap closed.

The plan is actually kind of funny: to set the mousetraps up at the foot of his bed (along with a whole bunch of marbles, just so that he slips, proving that she watched the Home Alone movies), and then at three o'clock in the morning, she wakes him up to tell him his car is getting towed.

It happens, everything goes to plan, and the guy is in excruciating pain.

Girls like this need to find better hobbies than terrorizing the one dude who will put up with their crap.
Girlfriend Doesn't Realize Boyfriend is on Vacation
Since there are no pictures of this girl in this video, one can only assume she looks kind of like, no, EXACTLY, like the picture to the left.

If you think this is bad, then you won't believe what these crazy exes are doing.

So a guy gets the golden opportunity to backpack through Europe for two weeks. He tells his friends and family, and even tells his girlfriend and calls her to say goodbye the night before he leaves. She ends up forgetting this ever happened because she's a bad listener. The guy has his phone turned off throughout his trip in order to avoid roaming charges, which is why he doesn't answer his phone.

She ends up sending email, after email, after email, having completely forgotten that he was in Europe. The emails go from fun, to worried, to angry, to seething, to vengeful (she ends up sleeping with someone to get back at him for "cutting her off") to apologetic when his mom tells her where he was.

You really just need to watch this. It is golden.

The reason this is both a hot AND psycho girlfriend entry is that the girl is obviously hot. She sends him emails about getting hit on constantly and even letting guys buy her a drink, and as soon as they hand her the drink she says, "you remind me of my boyfriend," which #1: an unattractive girl would not do, because c'mon, and #2: is a standard hot-girl move and a type of robbery that should be punishable by fine.

Check out more sex crazy girls here.
Girl Destroys Her Ex's Starcraft 2 Beta Key
Real or fake, this girl is an absolute either comic genius or complete psychopath. Either way, it's really, really hot for some reason. There's a lot wrong with me. It's probably the glasses.

So this girl basically does what was, at the time, the unthinkable. She didn't go out and bang his best friend or key his car or break anything he owned... except his spirit. People have waited YEARS for Starcraft 2 to come out. Starcraft 2 was one of the most preciously anticipated games of the last 10 years and Beta access to an early version of the game was like having a Willy Wonka Golden Ticket (only much more available.)

So, when "Brad" received his Starcraft 2 Beta key in the mail, which would have allowed him access to the wonders of Starcraft 2 (and freed him from the shackles of "showering"), his email had been hacked... by his ex-girlfriend. The hottie that he dumped for obvious, "I don't want my children to grow up deaf" reasons had not only hacked into his email, but deleted his Starcraft 2 Beta key email. On top of that, she printed it out before doing so just so she could video tape herself shredding it.

The comic timing of where the video ends is priceless. She's also up near the top of the list because she's insanely cute (once again, it's probably just the glasses), despite the fact that she probably collects human flesh.
The Original: Girlfriend Smashes Boyfriend's XBox
An oldie but a goodie (and the one that started the console smashing trend in 2010), this sexy blonde had had it with her boyfriend and in this oversaturated viral video from early 2010. She proceeds to destroy her boyfriend's XBox with a golf club. It was covered in news stories all over the Internet and mainstream media and garnered a new hatred for unsupportive girlfriends, as well as a wave of "alright, maybe we SHOULD spend more quality time together."

Her boyfriend later smashed her laptop in a retort video showing that not only was this one probably fake, but that they prank each other all the time, like that one couple on Break.com whose girl would have made the list if it wasn't for the constant, brutal back-and-forth she has with her boyfriend where she's totally cool with being pranked just as long as she can prank him back.

So before anyone says anything in the comments, they didn't make the list because they're both cool with the pranks and put them on break. This means that not only do they have a great relationship, but that the girl is absolutely, unbelievably cool.

15 Times the World Was Almost Completely Destroyed

These 15 times the world almost ended will shock you to the core, though they thankfully, but narrowly, missed the Earth's core. Armageddon was almost a real-life event both in the olden days of yore and in the 21st century. These near apocalypses, whether due to mechanical failures, miscommunications, natural disasters, and barely avoided cosmic and nuclear events, almost ruined everyone's day at some point in the history of the Earth.

Remember how the Mayan calendar supposedly indicated that the apocalypse was headed for us in 2012? Well, they weren't that far off. As it turns out, a solar superstorm in the summer of 2012 narrowly missed blasting planet Earth. That would've sucked. And that's just one of the many times humanity and all of Earth's creatures have escaped extinction at the last second.

In fact, our planet is no stranger to "the end is near" concerns or real apocalypses, and it wasn't just Y2K. The Black Plague possibly killed as many as 200 million human beings, and you don't even want to hear the numbers when it comes to the Spanish Flu pandemic (that bad boy hit in the early 1900s). From comets, to volcanoes, to accidentally announcing nuclear war and setting off rockets, these are the times that the End of Days was almost just around the corner.
15 Times the World Was Almost Completely Destroyed,

Cuban Missile Crises
The closest we ever came to completely annihilating human existence came during a combination of missteps in 1962. On October 25, an American air base guard activated the wrong alarm, which signaled WWIII from Wisconsin. The next day, America accidentally launched two missile tests in Russia because they had been scheduled before the Crisis began.
Simulation Confused With Reality
The movie War Games is a lot like what actually happened in 1979. The Pentagon thought 1,000 Soviet nukes were headed towards America when an Air Force officer checked out a simulation of exactly that. His computer happened to be hooked up to the mainframe in government control rooms, and the U.S. got ready to launch.
The Black Plague
One of the worst pandemics in the history of civilization, up to 200 million people were killed by the plague. The blame can likely be placed at the feet of Asian rat fleas and black rats that traveled with merchants. Not only was Europe's total population nearly cut in half, but the world population as a whole diminished substantially in the 14th century.
Spanish Flu
The 1918 influenza pandemic infected 500 million people and killed 3-5% of the entire globe's population. One of history's deadliest natural disasters killed 10-40% of those it infected and may have taken the lives of 25 million individuals over just 25 weeks. It topped the charts, killing more humans in one year than the Black Death in 100 years and killed more in 24 weeks than AIDS did in 24 years.
Yeltsin Almost Nukes America
The year was 1995 and the Cold War was over. But when Russia saw what looked exactly like a U.S. ballistic missile on its way, President Boris Yeltsin opened a briefcase with the nuclear codes for the first time. With ten minutes to figure out whether or not to nuke America, Yeltsin ultimately (and fortunately) got word that it was a science experiment he hadn't been warned about.
1950 Broken Arrow
"Broken Arrow" is a code name for a nuclear incident, which is exactly what happened in August of 1950. During the Korean War, a B-29 headed for Guam crashed at a California Air Base. The result? 5,000 pounds of explosives were detonated, 19 people died, and if the bomb had been armed with its fissile capsule, which thankfully it wasn't, potentially 100,000 people could have been killed.
1961 Faded Giant
Idaho Falls almost blew itself up when an SL-1 reactor went off and caused a nuclear disaster. Emergency officials could not go into the control room because of absurdly high radiation levels. When they did, they found three victims, one of whom was pinned to the ceiling and impaled by a control rod due to the explosion.
NORAD Says Armageddon Is Nigh
In the winter of 1971, a teletype operator stuffed the wrong tape into an alert system machine. So, instead of saying "this is only a test," it said that the president of the United States was about to broadcast an emergency alert. 45 terrifying minutes later, NORAD realized their error, but one radio DJ said they were considering billing the agency "for three sets of underwear."
2012 Solar Storm
In the summer of 2012, a massive cloud of hot plasma erupted from the sun and went through our planet's orbit. Had it happened a single week earlier, Earth would have had GPS errors, radio blackouts, and fried satellites. In fact, resulting power blackouts would have been so bad that most of us would have had trouble flushing the toilet.
Comet Hyakutake
The Great Comet of 1996 was great in size but the opposite of great in potential effect. It was the closest approach to Earth of any comet in the previous 200 years. Amateur astronomer Yuji Hyakutake saw it approaching us, leading astronomers to notice X-rays being emitted from a comet for the first time ever.

The Creepiest Things Ever Overheard by Random People on the Internet

We’ve all been in some dingy bar, or in line at a fast food restaurant and heard someone say something that was really creepy. Whether it was an out on context statement about a blood transfusion, or something a little more invasive, when you hear these things your mind begins to wander and think up all new terrible situations to surround that statement. Some of the fine folks over on Reddit have shared some of the creepy things overheard while going about their daily life, and they gave us the creeps. If you think you can handle the terror of real life, continue reading this collection of scary things overheard in public.

It’s surprising what one can hear in public when they close their mouths and open their ears. It turns out that most people not only have a problem with volume control, but they also over-share an extreme amount. A lot of the stories on this collection of creepy things overheard in public have an overtly sexual vibe, which already makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Aside from the overheard snippets of overtly sexual conversations, the amount of violent fantasies that people share in public is mind-boggling. After reading these weird things that people overheard in public, you’re definitely going to second guess everything you say out loud.

Vote up the creepiest things overheard by people on the Internet. And if you’ve overheard something weird then tell us about it in the comments.

The Creepiest Things Ever Overheard by Random People on the Internet,

She Just Turned 13

"About two years ago, I had traveled out of town to go visit a job site my company was contracted for and wanted to enjoy a nice treat: Steak ‘N Shake. I had just ordered my food and I suddenly begin overhearing the conversation taking place behind me. The voices sounded older… late 50s, maybe early 60s.
Man 1: Oh! I forgot to tell you I talked to Jenny [not exact name] the other day!
Man 2: Sweet! How’s she doing? How’s her daughter?
Man 1: She’s great, man. Her daughter is as beautiful as ever.
Man 2: Good deal. I remember her daughter used to be SMOKING hot. I wish I could [censored, for the sake of my sanity] before the school boys get to it!
Man 1: Oh, you and me both!
Man 2: How old is she now?
Man 1: She just turned 13."

Father Knows Best

"A father is talking about his two daughters age 6 and 9.
Him: Yeah she has a body like a boy now but once she gets older, I’m sure she’ll have a sexy body.
Everyone in the room: err
Him: Just like her mom, you know. I know if I was a boy their age that I would be trying to be really close friends with them."

Age of Consent

While having breakfast one morning in 2015, at a pousada somewhere in the Northeast of Brazil, I overheard the British owner say the following to some of his friends:
“So in terms of the new law, even if the boy consents or seduces you, YOU can still be charged with rape if he was underage.”

Time to Put on Your Invisibility Cloak

"I use[d] to work at a Honda factory in Alabama and they get a lot of workers in from temp agencies, so you tend to get a lot of weird ones. As I'm walking back from my lunch break, I pass two guys and accidentally overhear, 'I just want to impregnate the first thing I see.' My only thoughts were, 'Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact.'"

This Is Why You Shouldn't Learn Russian

"I speak a small amount of Russian. Not enough to get me through a conversation but after watching a bunch of videos and trying to learn the language, I can understand a fair amount more than I can speak. I was in Toronto walking down the road and there were two guys, Russian, sitting and talking in Russian at a table. I overheard 4 words. Dead, body, murder, and what was essentially dispose. I turned pale and got the f*ck out of there."

The Phantom Poop

"I heard a dude grunting in the stall next to me trying to poop but they were clearly phantom poops. Although, every time he farted he broke out into a hysterical laughter and would then return to grunting. The grunting got louder and louder until he just let out this epic GRUNT. Seriously, I thought he was sh*tting a boulder. I think the whole Student Union heard him. Anyway, after the huge grunt I heard the smallest 'plop' and all hell broke loose. He was cheering at this victory by banging on the side of the stall. Screaming with happiness. Between his screaming laughter he would yell, 'F*ck you poop! You can't control me!'"

Seriously, Call the Police

A guy I was standing near in the bar: “You know, the simple fact of the matter is, I could easily drug and rape any of these chicks. Most of them I wouldn't even have to drug, because I'm obviously stronger.”
His friend: “That's one hundred percent fact. Hell, I’d help if she turned out the be a fighter. You know that.”

I could pretend they were having a hypothetical discussion about women's safety issues, if it wasn't for that second guy’s reply.

The Mind Eraser

When I was a bartender, I could overhear quite a few conversations. The most unnerving came when I saw a man hand another man a small brown container with a white cap. I only overheard snippets:
“… won’t remember anything.”
“Even from what happened before. Total eraser.”
“… do it again and again.”
“…. get blackouts. You don’t know what kind of damage that does.”
“… pass out? I’m not a necrophiliac.”
“No, they participate all right…”

If You See Something, Say Something

"At Starbucks in a pretty affluent area. Two soccer moms are having a conversation about mom #1's 12 year old son molesting his sister who sounded close in age. It was graphic and detailed about what he did and what they were doing to stop it. They were talking in normal tones and not even being remotely secretive about this. No, I didn't call the cops. No one is going to believe a poor kid over rich soccer moms anyway."

TFW Your Roommates Want to Rape You

"I was sitting in my room quietly working on homework (I was in college at the time) and overheard two men (one of whom lived in the room next to me) calmly discussing the best way to rape me. It was 10am and they were already drinking beer. They were discussing tactics like drugging my food or drink, or physically overpowering me on my way to the bathroom, either very early or late when no one would be awake to hear me scream. They then started discussing the vile things they wanted to do, mostly involving torturing me in vicious and inventive ways."

12 Amazing Real-Life Resurrection Stories

Real life resurrection stories tell the tale of real people who came back from the dead. These are far more than people who were legally dead on an operating table; these are dead people who rose from the crypt to go on living.

How often are living people declared dead? More often than you'd think (or want to know about)! People brought back from the dead - presumably to deliver the Good Word - have been documented in history and medical books for hundreds of years. These are some of the more spectacular examples of people beating death. Enjoy this bone-chilling list of notable cases of people who were buried alive or brought back to life - true accounts of real-life resurrection stories and incidents of Lazarus syndrome.

12 Amazing Real-Life Resurrection Stories,

Marjorie McCall, Moneybags

In 18th Century Lurgan, Ireland, Dr. John McCall's wife Marjorie fell ill with fever and died shortly thereafter. Since he was a doctor and therefore rich, Marjorie naturally had an expensive gold wedding ring – but at her death, neither John nor any other mourner was able to remove it from her swollen finger. Due to fear that her fever would spread, Marjorie was hastily buried in Shankill Cemetery, and news of the doctor's dead wife spread throughout neighborhood.

Soon, some grave-robbers got busy digging up Marjorie's coffin. When they pried open the lid, they were delighted to find that yes, the valuable ring was still on her finger. Try as they might, they couldn't pull off the ring, so they agreed to saw off the whole finger. As the sharp blade cut into her skin, Marjorie came back to life, sat bolt upright, and shrieked like a tween with Bieber Fever. A miracle if there ever was one!

When the startled corpse-desecrating thieves fled, Marjorie was left alone to climb out of her grave and wander home. Across town, her widower Dr. John was boozing with some relatives, sorrowful at the loss of his wife but also pumped about his new-found bachelorhood. When he heard a gentle rapping, rapping on his chamber door, he opened it to find his dead wife, extra creepy and all wraithlike in her burial robes and bloody from the ol' saw-to-the-finger ordeal. The shock was too much for the doctor. He instantly dropped dead on the floor and was buried in the grave Marjorie had just vacated.

Ng Swee Hock, Brother-Hater
April 2011 - After getting into fisticuffs with his own brother, 65-year-old Ng Swee Hock sustained injuries so bad that not even a ventilator machine could revive him. Doctors at a Penang, Malaysia, hospital did CPR on his body for 45 minutes, but at around 11 AM, they gave up and pronounced him dead.

Two-and-a-half hours later, Ng started to breathe again.
Matthew Wall, Farmer
On October 2, 1571, recently deceased young farmer Matthew Wall was lying in a coffin on the way to his own funeral. Even though the day was cool and damp, the whole village of Braughing in Hertfordshire was out for the event, including Wall's distressed fiancée. As the procession made their way to the church, one of the pallbearers slipped on the wet leaves, dropping the coffin to the ground. The commotion was surprising.

But when the men lifted the coffin again, they were even more shocked by what they heard next: the sound of knocking. Matthew Wall had come back to life and was banging on the walls of his own coffin!

Wall eventually went on to marry his fiancée and live for another 24 years. Since then, Braughing village has commemorated Old Man's Day every year on October 2nd. To celebrate, village children bring brooms to sweep leaves from the lane in front of the church, presumably so no one slips on them. Any more dropped coffins, and they could have a zombie apocalypse on their hands.
Old Polish Lady
June 2009 - A man called an ambulance when his 84-year-old wife fainted. The emergency service doctor declared the woman dead and sent her to the morgue. She lay deceased for several hours in line waiting to be embalmed and whatnot, but then the Holy Spirit hopped into her again. Morticians noticed the woman's body bag moving and unzipped it to find that her vital functions were all working again. Praise Him.
Anne Green, Convicted Child-Killer
In 1650, Anne Green was convicted of murdering her bastard child and hiding its body at her boss's house. Soon, she was sentenced to death by hanging and led to the gallows, where she was fitted with a noose. For her last words, she proclaimed her innocence and begged, "Sweet Jesus, receive my soul." After the hangman kicked the little stool out from under her, Green's body was left to hang for half an hour. During this time, her pals reportedly:
thump[ed] her on the breast’ and hung ‘with all their weight upon her leggs… lifting her up and then pulling her downe againe with a suddain jerke...which seems very rude to me, but apparently they were trying to quicken her death / lessen her suffering. Whatever.

Eventually, Green's lifeless body was cut down from the gallows and put in a coffin, which was taken to a doctor who was going to dissect her. Just as the doctor prepared to slice her open from chest to gut, Anne's corpse groaned. Hallelujah!

There are two versions (maybe more) of what happened next:

In one, doctors immediately began to warm her body, pour hot cordials in her mouth, and (doy) bleed her.

In the other, someone tried to kick her back into the land of the dead by stomping on her chest. The force of the kick was so strong that it completely revived her.

Either way, Green – having been through enough for one day – was granted a reprieve and declared innocent. She lived a long time after her resurrection and bore three more children, none of whom she was convicted of killing.
Saudi Mom
2009 - During a Caesarean section delivery in a Kuwait City hospital, the woman in labor was pronounced dead. Her grief-stricken husband was handed her death certificate – along with their new baby, who was born with birth defects. The would-be mother's body was whisked off to the morgue, where it was locked up with all the hospital's other losses for the day.

Two hours later, the woman was struck with life again, but in a very dark, very cold place. She screamed and banged on the door of the deep freezer until a worker finally heard her. (Why do these things lock from the inside, anyway?) Upon her release, the woman's husband was called back to the hospital to return her death certificate, which he was not allowed to keep as a souvenir.
South African Grandfather

July 2011 - An 80-year-old man in the Eastern Cape died due to complications from an asthma attack. His family called the morgue to come fetch his body, which was then locked in a refrigerated compartment to cool. Twenty-one hours later, while the family were meeting to discuss funeral arrangements, workers at the morgue heard someone yelling for help. Thinking it was a ghost, they called the police for backup. Upon their arrival, the cops released the reanimated corpse of the old man, who was very nearly scared to death – again.

Colombian Woman
February 2010 - After falling ill from a serious condition, a 45-year-old woman in Cali, Colombia, was declared dead. Staff at a medical clinic signed her death certificate, and her body was transferred to a funeral home to be prepared for her burial. Just as a worker went to inject her lifeless limbs with formaldehyde preservative, the woman miraculously began to breathe and move again.
St. Odran, Naysayer

In 548 A.D., Christian folks in Iona, Scotland, wanted to build a chapel near an ancient burial ground. The problem was: no matter what they did, the work they constructed was destroyed each night, so they had to start all over again the next day. Eventually, a guy named Columba got it into his head that if they buried someone alive in the foundation, they would be able to finish building the chapel.

With a promise that his soul would be safe, a monk named Oran or Odran or Odhran – Columba's son or brother – volunteered (or was volunteered) to be buried alive, so he was. When that dirty work was done, the folks above ground finished the chapel. Hi-ho.

After some time, Columba started to miss Odran, so he opened the burial pit again.

- OR -

One day, the dead-and-back-to-life Oran shoved his face up through a wall and began to talk. He said:

There is no such great wonder in death. There is no Hell as you suppose, nor Heaven that people talk about.

When Oran began to try to escape his grave in the foundation, Columba flipped out and shoved him back down again, quickly covering the pit with earth. Or he had Oran's body removed and buried somewhere else on grounds of heresy. His own brother. Or son.

Thomas à Kempis, Faithless
In life, Catholic monk Thomas à Kempis (probably) wrote The Imitation of Christ, which everyone agreed was a pretty good and pious publication. Some time after his death in Zwolle in 1471, Church authorities began to think Thomas would make a good saint. They exhumed his body with plans to go forward with his canonization, but were bummed to find scratch marks inside the coffin lid and splinters embedded beneath Thomas's nails. Despite the holy miracle of his resurrection after death, Thomas was denied canonization and never became a saint. After all, what kind of candidate for sainthood would try to escape his fate of death?

All of the Horrible Things That Have Happened at Chuck E. Cheese

Chuck E. Cheese's is supposed to be a family friendly place where you can take your kids and let them run around like maniacs while you eat pizza and sigh with the other parents who are too tired to speak. But for some reason, some of the most insane things happen at Mr. Cheese’s restaurant. Most of the Chuck E. Cheese horror stories on this list sound like they’re straight out of a Law & Order writer’s nightmares, but they’re all true. You’re going to think twice about taking the family out for pizza and skee ball after reading about all of these horrible things that have happened at Chuck E. Cheese's.

For whatever reason, Chuck E. Cheese crimes tend to fall into some of the most violent and gross categories of unlawful offenses that exist. Whether it’s creepy dudes smoking heroin in the bathroom, or creepy dudes taking pictures of kids, all of these Chuck E. Cheese stories are definitely going to activate your ick factor. If there are any lessons to be learned from this list of true and terrible things that have happened at Chuck E. Cheese's, it’s that you should keep an eye on your kids, and never trust cartoon mice – no matter how cute they may be.

After you finish reading about all of these horrible crimes that took place at Chuck E. Cheese's, tell everyone about your own run-ins with Mr. Cheese. Did he take pity on you? Or did he make you clean the ball pit?
All of the Horrible Things That Have Happened at Chuck E. Cheese,

Man Exposes Himself to Children, Is Promptly Arrested
In 2012, Kenneth D. McGhee was arrested for child molestation after he exposed himself under a table at Chuck E. Cheese's, masturbating in the company of minors. One of the children's mothers caught McGhee and alerted authorities immediately.

Man Sexually Assaults 3-Year-Old Girl
Straight from the nightmare files comes this story about Robert Dustin Weber, a 44-year-old man who was sentenced to 18 years in prison after he repeatedly sexually assaulted a 3-year-old girl who was playing in the crawl tubes of a Chuck E. Cheese's play area.
Skee Ball Fight Ends with Assault Charges
After a grown woman pushed a two year old who was playing skee ball, the two year old's mother decided to make things real and get into a fist fight with the other woman. The women fell into the skee ball machine and had to be broken up by the Chuck E. Cheese's staff.
Sexual Predator Took Girls to Chuck E. Cheese's
In 2014, Steven Sherwood was arrested for sexually assaulting 11 young girls between the ages of 5 and 15, who he routinely brought to Chuck E. Cheese's and their local library. Allegedly, Sherwood threatened to kill the girls' parents if they didn't go along with him.
Malfunctioning Photo Machine Leads to Aggravated Assault
In Parma, OH, five Chuck E. Cheese's employees were viciously attacked by a group of people who were angry over a malfunctioning photo machine. One of the employees said that he was slammed into a table and was on the receiving end of an uppercut from one of the customers. By the time the police arrived the vicious mob had run away.
Nathan Dunlap Kills Four in Chuck E. Cheese's Revenge Spree
In 1993 Nathan Dunlap was frustrated after being fired from his job at Chuck E. Cheese's, so five months later he returned to the restaurant, hid in the bathroom, and after they were closed for the evening he shot five of his ex-coworkers, injuring four of them. Dunlap is still on death row.
Tire Flies Through Window, Injuring Three
In 2015 a 63-year-old woman drove her car into a ditch and hit a telephone pole causing the tires to fly off her car and go through the window of a nearby Chuck E. Cheese's, injuring three kids who were treated on the scene.
Fistfight Breaks Out Over Stolen Cellphone
While visiting Chuck E. Cheese's with two children, Wanda Jackson attempted to steal another woman's phone and got into a fight over the piece of tech. The police report says that the victim spit in Jackson's face and that's when things got hairy. Jackson was charged with third-degree assault.
Man Picks Up the Wrong Child After Eating Pizza
It was bound to happen at least once, and in January 2016 a man literally picked up the wrong kid from Chuck E. Cheese's and almost walked away with him before realizing that he was holding the wrong child.
Massive Brawl Breaks Out in Connecticut
After being told to "tone it down" by a manager, a 12-person brawl broke out after two women bumped into each other. No children were injured during the incident and police have not made any arrests.

14 Titillating True Stories from Inside Sex and Swinger Clubs

For the uninitiated, the idea of going to a sex club is exciting and daunting in equal measure. How do you handle yourself when you're trying to handle as many people as possible? Do you make conversation, or just rip off your tear-away pants and get down to business? Should you take a viagra before hand, or get a little tipsy to make yourself more comfortable with what's to come? After reading these true stories from sex clubs you should have an idea about how to appropriately have fun at an orgy. Maybe you’ll even be inspired to start your own swinger’s night.
Obviously, these sex club stories are NSFW, and so are a lot of the images, so unless your boss has a secret red room, you should probably read this on the DL. Assuming you're at work. Which begs the question, why are you reading this at work? Do you also peruse Pornhub from the confines of the office toilet stall?
More than anything else in life, sex can be fulfilling, weird, funny, and sad – and these true stories from swingers accentuate all of those descriptors. Some of the swingers club stories on this list will definitely put you in the mood to check out a sex party, and others might put you off the concept of sex clubs altogether.
If you have any fun experiences to share about your favorite swinger’s club, leave them in the comments, but please avoid the phrase “leather pig mask.”

14 Titillating True Stories from Inside Sex and Swinger Clubs,

TFW When You're Watching a Minotaur Get a BJ

For all of its sunshine and copious brunch spots, Los Angeles can be kind of terrible. Nothing accentuates this more than the Sanctum Club, LA's pseudo-secretive high end roaming sex club that seems only to exist to drain well off would-be exhibitionists of their cash and perpetuate the stereotype that sex parties are basically cartoons drawn by horny 13-year-old boys come to life. As journalist Jen Yamamoto describes:

It was just past midnight in a private mansion off of Mulholland when I watched my first Minotaur get a blowjob.

And yet somehow, within the walls of the Sanctum Club, LA’s secretive high-end sex party, Minotaur fellatio would turn out to be both the most esoteric and the most pedestrian of the voyeuristic sights I’d feast my virgin eyes on.
In an article for The Daily Beast, Yamamoto describes an evening at Sanctum with aplomb:

On one side of a king-sized bed a woman in a thong laid splayed across her male companion’s lap, her lips on his erect penis, which was peeking out of unzipped tuxedo pants. Lost in their own concerns, they paid no mind to the threesome of twentysomethings that was going down on the far side of the bed, where a pony-tailed trust fund type, also nearly fully clothed, was resolutely thrusting away at a pretty blonde who had a second c*ck in her hand...

My girlfriend and I found a hidden perch under a spiral staircase perfect for voyeuristic peeping but found ourselves trapped when a horny couple sashayed over and blocked our exit. We waited it out as they proceeded to screw against a window overlooking the moonlit hillside to the pulsating sound of a house remix of 'Bette Davis Eyes.'
Picturesque, to say the least.

Life Lessons: Girlfriends, Germans, and a D*ck So Big It Might Have a Spine

Back in 2014, one reviewer who brought his girlfriend to a sex club learned a few life lessons having sex in front of strangers on a leather bed (gross BTW). Upon arrival, the man's girlfriend was hit on by a German woman.

'Oh, you are first timers,' laughed the German. She quickly changed the subject. 'Look at that guy over there. He has the d*ck of a bull elephant!'

It was true. I compared it to my forearm and wondered if the thing had a spine. It probably chews gum and stunt-doubles for Vin Diesel.'
They continued to explore the venue.

We poked our head into the 'dungeon.' A young woman was riding a Sybian, yelping and clutching herself for dear life while a man cranked the machine to full power. People surrounded and cheered as a woman in leather bounded herself in chains and ropes while rocking herself back and forth on a sex swing.
In the end, the man waxed philosophical on the many things he came to terms with while visiting the club. "The one risk of coming here is realizing you aren’t the Don Juan you thought you were," he mused, while point out that sex clubs are "about extending your comfort boundary and exploring sexual territory in an open-minded environment."

The Saddest Couple at the Saddest Sex Club in the World

This sex club write up should only be read while listening to The Smiths' "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want," so fast forward or rewind your cassette accordingly.
In 2013, Emma Bovary of Nerve visited a sex club with her married friend James, and things pretty much immediately got awkward. Aside from meeting a foot fetishist who was rebuffed, and chatting with a man who didn't like that his fiancée enjoyed having sex with strangers, Emma and her friend explored some unresolved sexual tension that reads as quietly disastrous.

'Not what I had in mind,' said James... I asked him what he'd been expecting.

'I thought it would be, like, a total free-for-all, with everyone f*cking each other silly on every available surface. This is just kind of…lame.'

I agreed, while gently mocking his would-be libertinism: as much as he wanted to walk into the middle of some lust-fueled marathon f*ck-fest, he wasn't going to be the one to get the party started. Even in the context of a secret sex club, James and I were too inhibited to act on our desires; it struck me as unfair to be disappointed in everyone else for failing to exhibit the kind of wanton abandon we so conspicuously lacked.
Aside from the strange melancholy of visiting a sex club and leaving sexless, Emma seemed to appropriately contextualize the experience in her head. "I imagine sex clubs are more fun when you visit them with the express intention of getting laid, rather than having a titillating-but-not-outright-adulterous experience with a conflicted married coworker."

Chains, Chairs, Hard Sex, and a Fingerbang Competition with Another Couple

Now this is a couple who knows how to make the most of a mostly empty sex club. They get "liquored up" before shelling out the $80 for admission, but upon arriving found they had the run of the place save a few regulars. So they hammered hard against a wall and in a chair, using some chains to make the most of their experience, then got into a fingering-off with another couple.

... a girl was getting fingered hard by her guy. We thought we could give them a run for their money. The guy I was with is amazing at making me squirt. He knows just how to find my G-spot, goes slow and then speeds up until I'm gushing. After that he f*cked me again on my back.

The whole experience was about an hour and a half. We had work the next day but I would have definitely stayed given the chance. I can't wait to go again.
What do you they would have gotten up to if they didn't have work the next day?

A Tryhard Loserface Ruins the Hot Tub Because He Won't Shut Up About Himself

Not every visit to a sex club is a transformative experience filled with rad hard bodies clamoring to fulfill your every sexual fantasy while helping you become a better person. Sometimes you just end up in a hot tub with oddly placed jets and a guy who won't stop talking about his yacht. He also turned out to be a lecherous, rapey creep:

He comes over to us, we chat briefly and he almost immediately brings up the fact that he has a yacht that he likes to have parties on and it would be great if we could party on his yacht sometime.

Sorry but if you bring up, unbidden and unrelated to anything, the fact that you have a yacht in the first 30 seconds of a conversation you come off as a tryhard loserface.

He started touching my gf (without asking consent) and she asked me if I was ok with it and I was thinking 'Well, whatever, we are at a sex club, and so far we've not really interacted with anyone else, so I guess let's do something with someone.' So I say it's ok. They start kissing, he starts kissing her really aggressively... my gf later told me was also trying to penetrate her with his (unprotected) penis right in the pool, also without asking her (which she didn't want). So after they kiss for a minute or so she comes back to me, we chat a bit to see how we are feeling and both agree that we don't really like his vibe.

No Uggos Allowed at Munich's Exclusive Beautiful People Red Light District Sex Parties

Despite your thoughts on the need for inclusivity in the world of illicit swinger parties, the folks who run Munich's Red Light District sex parties, which take place at pay-by-the-hour hotels, would rather you leave your less attractive friends at home if you want to get weird with their clientele. You have to admit, though, that if you get accepted at the cool kid's sex table, you probably won't feel as bad if your partner disappears with a hot stranger. Because you're all very sexy and you're never going to die.
Despite the haughtiness of the organization's premise, there seems to be a genuine desire to help people improve their love lives behind the venture. Say the founders:

After the first time we ended up with another couple, we said to each other: 'That was crazy, what did we just do?' Then we thought: 'That worked. If we can do this with each other, we're an unbeatable team... And it was amazing how passionate our sex was the next day.'

She thinks it's great that she's able to have experiences that she can't have with her husband. 'When you're together, fantasies aren't always comparable. I wanted to be tied up, for example. Konstantin finds that strange. But I can try that out here.'
According to one couple who frequent the Red Light District parties, the appeal lies in keeping passion alive while exploring new facets of sexuality:

'When I saw her having sex with another man, I got really aroused. It was like watching live porn starring my own wife.' Swinging, to him, is just a next step in their relationship.

'We were always close, but everyone changes and would like to discover new things every now and then. It's nice that we can do it together in this context and aren't drifting apart from each other.'

Is he worried that she'll fall in love with someone she's having sex with? She interjects: 'You have to be careful. If we're having issues in our relationship, we don't do it. There's always the risk of falling in love, but that same risk exists in the supermarket.'

You Don't Choose the Sex Club Tour Guide Life, the Sex Club Tour Guide Life Chooses You

On the other side of the sex club curtain (figuratively speaking) exists a world the depraved men and women making out in a hot tub never see. It's a world of paperwork, refilling condom baskets, and trying to figure out if the people you're introducing to the swinger's club are sex workers.

No question, swingers parties can be sexy as hell for the people attending. For staff, though, even a 'sexy' environment can end up being just another day at the office. You're bussing glassware. You're cleaning up spills and puke. You've heard all the music a billion times (if I never have to suffer through Ke$ha's 'Take It Off' again, I'll die a happy man).
And don't forget all the fun people you get to meet when you work at a sex club: "There can also be staff conflicts which, with the wrong people, have descended into the realm of slut-shaming. I once saw a caterer throw a stack of plates and scream, of the boss, 'She can f*ck all she wants, but that doesn't mean she can run a party!'"
Amen.

First Time Discoveries: A Tight Surprise, a Loving Couple, and Life as Animated Sex Toy

You can't ask for a better first time at a sex club than this anonymous writer's experience at the Oasis Aqualounge in Toronto, Canada. She got a personal tour of the club, which is housed in a mansion, and met a very chill couple.

I told Karen I had never done this before. She looked puzzled. I was referring to group sex. She said that no one said anything about f*cking. Sometimes the four of them would just hang out at the lounge. She was so natural about it I almost forgot that she was completely naked and I was wearing nothing but a towel.
From there, the evening slips into a sensual puddle of group sex and cool hangs, which started with a request for cunnilingus ("I obliged, drawing my tongue from her c*nt to her clit in long, slow laps. I slipped a finger inside of her and was surprised by how tight she was. She let out a moan."). However, the author does at some point realize there was an element of people using one another for personal gratification involved in the ordeal.

Mark slid into me, slowly at first and then faster. Karen was talking to him, telling him how much she could tell I liked it.

'She wants it deeper baby,' she said.

That was the second time Karen and Mark had exchanged words about me without actually talking to me. I realized that their emotional connection meant that I was not on equal ground with them. While I was enjoying the act, I didn’t feel that I was much more than an animated sex toy.

What Does Wifey Want for Her Birthday? To Watch Another Woman Deep Throat You

For most straight-laced couples, the idea of going to a swinger's club is the highest echelon of perversity, and exactly what a seemingly vanilla husband and wife decided to do for the wife's birthday. After a dinner with friends, the adventurous members of the party skedaddled to a swinger's club where the wife (who seems like she would be fun to party with even in a non sexual way) made sure her husband had a memorable time.

The sex goddess who had been banging man after man upstairs came back down for a break. She walked over to a table very near ours and sat down. My wife asked again if I would go over to her. I shook my head no. 'Fine,' she said, and she got up and walked over to the woman.

I could barely make out the conversation through the pounding vibrations of the loud music being played. My wife was pointing to me, talking to her. Then the woman got up, took my wife's hand, and they walked back over to me. Without saying anything to me, she got down on her knees in front of me.
So what then? Well, you can probably guess. But if not:

I was shaking inside. 'OMG! OMG! Oh. my. god!!!' I couldn't believe what was happening. I was scared. I was on fire with excitement. And I panicked. 'Wait!' I put my hands on the woman's shoulders before she could get my pants unzipped. 'We're not ok with vaginal sex.' She responded, 'Listen, I am going to suck your c*ck until it is so hard, you are going to have to f*ck her.' and she pointed at my wife...

The woman licked my c*ck slowly and sensuously, as though it was covered in some kind of expensive chocolate liqueur.... then, without warning, she went down hard and fast - all the way. Down to the very hilt of my shaft. She took it all in her mouth. Only in porn movies had I ever seen a woman do that before. I don't know how she did it, but she did...

The head of my penis, it seemed, was pounding against the back of her throat with each drop of her head.

Mmmph. Mmmph. Mmmph.

Just Let Go: Whiskey, Dongs, Clams, and Lots of Oral from Complete Strangers

Being in a monogamous relationship with hints of polyamory can get very complicated very quickly. People get jealous, then they get bitter, and no one wants to be in that kind of toxic relationship But that doesn't mean it's impossible to sustain a loving relationship while taking on a shared sidepiece from time to time.
Pablo Duncan and his girlfriend figured out how to visit a swinger's club and get weird without making a mess of their relationship. Unfortunately, they weren't able to successfully dodge the most boring guy at the club. "We took a break on the terrace. We smoked and talked with a guy from Seville, who spoke passionately against Catalan nationalism. That was a little boring, so we left—this time for the cinema, where we had sex with another couple."
Of course, their evening wasn't all mind-numbing talk with Catalan separatists. They also let themselves go with the flow of the freewheeling sexual waterfall.

With an unmistakable gesture, a guy asked for my permission to get closer to my girlfriend. Before I could remind him of the obligation to use a condom, he showed me he already had one in his hand. He put it on and as he penetrated her, I pushed her head southward, asking her to give me a blowjob.

Shortly after that I lost her for a while. I ended up in another corner with two women while my girlfriend was his. I found her much later in another room—she was giving some other guy a blowjob, so I started licking her p*ssy while different sets of hands touched her everywhere. After a powerful orgasm, she got up, drank more whiskey, and started talking to a guy who told her that he was trying to hold back ejaculating for as long as possible but that having sex with her made that very difficult. I listened as I received oral sex from another complete stranger.

15 Terrifying Stories of Pets Who Turned on Their Owners

Even with training and domestication, pets have been known to turn on their owners and kill them. Sadly, this is all the more common with exotic animals that are difficult or impossible to train, such as lions, bears, and snakes. These stories are tragic, usually of devoted pet guardians attempting to simply do what can't be done—tame a wild beast.

Pets who have killed include a famous chimpanzee, various reptiles, a hippo that inspired a TV special, bears, and even spiders. A few of these cases resulted from people who were clearly hoarders and should never have been allowed to keep any pets, but many were just animal owners who had fallen in love with an exotic creature, and paid the ultimate price.

Here are terrifying stories of people killed by their own pets.

15 Terrifying Stories of Pets Who Turned on Their Owners,

Simba the Pet Lion Mauls Its Owner
Illinois resident Al Abell kept a brood of exotic animals in a small zoo he called Cougar Bluff Enterprise, including a 500-pound African lion called Simba. Abell was usually careful in the handling of his exotic pets, but one afternoon he made a fatal mistake—he forgot to lock the door to the secondary pen that he put the lion in when cleaning its cage.

The details surrounding Abell’s death are uncertain, but Abell's wife returned to the property to find Al missing, the lion roaming free, and the other animals on the farm agitated. What followed was a tense standoff between local police and the lion, which ended with Simba shot dead by assault rifles. Abell was found dead near the animal cage, having bled to death from a massive bite in his leg.

Scarface the Pitbull Mauls His Owner Over a Sweater

A Florida woman and her family were mauled by her pet pitbull after she tried to put a sweater on him.
The pitbull - ironically named Scarface - attacked Brenda Guerrero, 52, in her Tampa home on New Year's Day in 2017. When her husband Ismael stepped in to help her, the dog turned on him. The couple's 22-year-old son tried to intervene - this time with a knife - and even after he stabbed Scarface the dog still attacked.
The three eventually managed to escape into the house, leaving the dog outside. Animal Control officers were called to the home and had to subdue the dog with a Taser. Officials said the dog was "aggressive." Sounds like an understatement.

Travis the Chimpanzee

Travis the Chimpanzee became famous after he appeared in TV shows, commercials, and on talk shows with his owner, Sandra Herold. In 2009, Herold called her friend Charla Nash for help getting the 200-pound chimp back into his cage.

But Travis saw Nash holding one of his toys, and brutally attacked her by mauling her face and hands. Herold tried to stop Travis by stabbing him and hitting with a shovel, which only angered him more. She called 911 and police arrived, which led to Travis opening the door of one of the police cars. An officer shot Travis, and the chimp staggered away and died.

Nash's family was in the process of suing Herold when Herold died of an ruptured aorta.
A few years later, Nash became the first patient to ever receive a double hand and face transplant.

The Pet Lion that Mauled a Child

30-year-old Amber Michelle Couch had already received a number of citations from the animal control department of Odessa, Texas, related to her 150-pound pet mountain lion. The animal wasn't current on his vaccines, and the cage the lion lived in was too small for its size. Not only that, but the gaps in between the bars were too wide—a safety hazard to anyone who got close.

Sure enough, in October 2011, Couch's nephew got too close to the cage and the lion jabbed a paw through the gaps, lacerating the child's face and slashing his left side. The child survived the attack, but the lion was put down.

Humphrey the Hippo Eats His Owner
In 2011, former South African Army major Marius Els was killed after being savagely bitten by his pet hippopotamus, Humphrey. Els had adopted the 1.2-ton creature when it was just five months old, after the animal was rescued from a flood, and had attempted to domesticate it. "Humphrey's like a son to me, he's just like a human," he told a reporter earlier in the year, "there's a relationship between me and Humphrey and that's what some people don't understand."

Humphrey had already done his share of damage, breaking out of his pen many times, chasing golfers, and killing calves. African authorities caution people not to keep hippos as pets, as they're impossible to train, can run 30 miles per hour, and kill more people than almost every other wild animal combined.

The Camel That Trampled Its Owner to Death
Australian Pam Weaver was given a camel for her 60th birthday, which isn't so strange, given that she owned a large property full of cattle and sheep roaming about, as well. Of course, cows and sheep aren't camels. Shortly after starting its life as a pet, the camel repeatedly attempted to smother the family’s pet goat.

Then one evening, disaster struck, as the camel tried to mate with Weaver. After she fought the camel off, the animal knocked her over, stomped on her head, and lay on top of her, smothering her to death.

The Pet Deer That Gored Its Owner
Texas resident Gerald Rushton ill-advisedly kept a 500-pound red stag deer in a pen in his backyard. Despite the fact that deer are both illegal and dangerous to keep, Rushton was attempting to domesticate the animal and keep it as a pet. The attempt failed, as the deer gored and trampled Rushton to death. Game wardens arrived on the scene and put the deer down, and Rushton was dead before making it to a hospital.

Gypsy the Burmese Python
In 2009, Jaren Hare and Charles Darnell owned a pet python named Gypsy that had already escaped close to a dozen times, as its cage was only covered by a quilt. But the Florida residents insisted on hanging on to it. That changed when the snake escaped again, and wrapped itself around Hare's two-year-old daughter, killing her.

Animal experts believed that the snake hadn't been fed in a month and was severely underweight when it tried to eat the girl. Hare and Darnell were arrested, and while their attorney tried to argue that the snake had always been docile, a jury convicted them of third-degree murder. They were each sent to prison for 12 years.

Teddy the Black Bear
The Walz family of Allentown, PA, had raised their 350-pound black bear Teddy since it was a cub. But even so, the bear attacked and killed Kelly Ann Walz as she was cleaning his cage. She made the mistake of cleaning the cage while Teddy was still in it, which apparently set him off. Neighbor children saw the attack, and their father shot and killed Teddy. Authorities soon discovered that Kelly's husband's license to keep and sell exotic animals had expired

The Hoarder Bitten by His Pet Black Widow
A resident of Dortmund, Germany, Mark Voegel lived a solitary life in a small apartment, keeping the company only of the numerous insects and snakes he collected as pets. It was one of these, a black widow spider, that caused his demise. Apparently the heater on the tank that he used to keep his spiders had burst, allowing them to crawl free. A black widow bit Voegel and killed him, and in the 7-14 days it took for him to be found, his menagerie feasted on him. Hundreds of spiders, lizards, and snakes—along with countless termites—had eaten him, with webs draping his body, and bits of him scattered all around the apartment.

People Describe Terrifying Encounters With Weird Strangers

Creepy things that happen to us don't always involve the paranormal or things we don't understand. Our fellow citizens are just as creepy and scary as ghosts and monsters. People behave strangely for all sorts of reasons and most of the time we don't understand it. We get creeped out in all sorts of ways; whether someone makes a prediction about our future or crossing paths with a serial killer, these chance encounters always send a little shiver down our spine. Vote for your favorite non-paranormal creepy incident and tell us what it's your number one.
People Describe Terrifying Encounters With Weird Strangers,

Coworkers have serial killer encounter

"I used to work for a group home, taking care of kids with autism or developmental problems. The company had multiple group homes but none of them were within a mile of each other and they were all in the middle of farm country. Each had a driveway of about half a mile and surrounded by nothing but open countryside. The locations were chosen specifically for this so that if a client were to escape, they would have to run through a wide open field for quite some time.

One night at about 2 AM, I was working the graveyard shift with a coworker and we noticed some headlights coming down the driveway. We thought it was an administrator coming to check up on us so we started frantically running around doing our work. Then we realized the headlights hadn't moved. I stepped outside, took a few steps down the driveway and noticed a white van about a quarter of the way down the driveway. It stayed there for about seven or eight minutes then drove off.

My coworker and I were kind of baffled and came to the conclusion that the person was just lost and had to stop to look at a map.

Three days later, a serial killer was caught in our area. He was known for picking up women on the exact road our group home was on and he drove a white van."

Homeless man makes accurate prediction

"Being the manager of a chain clothing store, I sometimes help other locations out. A few weeks ago, I was asked by my boss to work a night shift at a store located in a different mall. I've never been to that mall before and figured working there would be interesting so I took the shift.

The mall closed at 10 PM and I left the store by 11:30 PM. Walking back to the parking structure was kind of creepy.The concrete structure was dimly lit. There were still several cars left in the structure, probably belonging to mall employees.

I had completely forgotten where I had parked, so there I was, aimlessly wandering the parking structure looking for my car. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an elderly homeless man coming towards me. He asked me, 'You looking for your car?', and not wanting to be rude I responded, 'Yes.'

The homeless man nodded and beckoned for me to follow him. Not really knowing what to do, I decided to follow. We walked for about five minutes across the structure and up a flight of stairs.

Then he stopped right in front of my car and told me. 'It’s not safe to drive a car that's low on motor oil, you know,' and then proceeded to walk away.

Getting into my car I noticed that it WAS low on oil. I have no idea how he knew where my car was or how he knew it was low on oil."

Aunt takes prank too far

“When I was younger, my aunt used to say, whenever she babysat us, that if we were not good she would take us to 'Wally Booger’s' house. We called BS one day to her while we were driving. We were acting like little asses so she turned around and drove to what she thought was an abandoned house to show us where 'Wally Boogers' lived. When she pulled up in the driveway she said, 'Do you want me to drop you off here?' All of a sudden some skinny old man in just sweat pants came running out of the house screaming and waving a big knife. We started screaming (including my aunt) and we got the hell out of there. We cried for an hour and begged her to never take us there again. Years later I found out the gentleman has lived in his home for 15+ years without electricity. He died about five years ago and they found some creepy stuff in his home including bones of animals he had butchered and set up in a shrine like fashion in one of the rooms in his house.”

Stranger tells man he's going to kill his girlfriend

“A few years ago, I was visiting my girlfriend who had just moved to New York.

We had a long wonderful weekend but it came to an end. We were on the subway and it finally got to her stop. I was going to stay on the subway to head to the bus station. As my girlfriend gets up, so does a large male passenger. She gets up to the door and he stands right behind her. I wave goodbye as she steps off the train. Then he (the large, male passenger) looks at me with a demonic smile, points at my girlfriend's back, and mouths the words 'I'm going to kill her.'

I jumped up and try to get to the door but it's closed by the time I get there. I tried desperately to call the police but I can't get a signal. At the next stop, I bound through the station to the surface where I called my girlfriend. She was fine but freaked out. I ran the 14 blocks to her place and stayed with her all night rather than going home.”

When a stranger calls...

"I worked at a campground on the night shift from 12 AM to 8 AM. I would bring in my PS2 game a good portion of the night, only having to deal with one or two people on busy nights. It was just me in this little 8' x 8' shack, with nothing around but darkness. My first week there, the other third shift guy who was quitting told me about this payphone a few feet from the shack where I worked. He said it rang every night at 4:17 AM, just once. It was probably just an automated test call, he guessed.He's never answered it himself. It was the middle of summer so most nights I had the windows closed so I couldn't hear the payphone go off.

Mid-August I started leaving the windows open during the night. Sure enough, at 4:17 AM every morning, the phone would ring once. The ring even sounded creepy, like the payphone was submerged in water.

One night I got up the nerve to answer it. I set an alarm at 4:15 and would go wait at the phone until it rang. When it did, I answered it. But there was no sound. Just dead air like someone was on the other line but wasn't answering. I said hello a few times, and hung up. I did this every night for a week with the same results. I didn't think anything of it and left it alone after that for about a month. The first week of October, I decided to answer the phone once again. I set my alarm and when the time came, I answered the phone.

'Hello? Hello?'

Then I heard what sounded like someone inhaling through clenched teeth. The voice sounded rough and like he had gargled gravel.

He said my complete name. First, middle, and last. It was a voice I'd never heard. My voice caught in my throat and I hung up.

I rattled some change into the payphone and hit *69. The number had come from California but I was in Indiana."

Stranger tries to blow up family

"When I was a kid, we'd go to these beach cabins in Maryland, right by the Chesapeake. They were small and rustic with basic comforts and no amenities. There were two bedrooms and a cot in the kitchen and my siblings and I rotated on the cot.

A small tradition was that my mom and I would have a hot cup of tea before bed, in our summer jammies which was our way of relaxing while everyone else went off to read or listen to music. One night I was settling on the cot when she picked up the tea kettle to fill it. Out of the corner of my eye I see her flinch, then say in a steady voice, 'What are you doing there?' My head whipped over to the kitchenette to see her looking out the window. Then she jumped back and started screaming for my father.

My dad ran from the back bedroom and saw my mom point towards the left side of the house. He burst out the door. I was 10 years old so I ran under my parent's bed. I still remember the smell of the old wood and the feel of my teddy bear shielding me from whatever the hell was happening. I remember seeing my 14 year-old-brother, then a medium ranking karate student, following my dad out of the cabin at full-speed.

My father, a former Army Sergeant and MP with a bronze star, managed to tackle the guy that had been peeping into our kitchen window. He put him in an elbow lock face down on the ground with my brother standing over both of them while my mom ran to get the cell phone we'd bought just two weeks earlier.

While my mom called 9-1-1, I remember hearing the guy talking. He was saying things like,'The ouja board told me...' 'I want the devil to suck my brains out...' 'Satan is in cabin 10, I have to get to cabin 10... The devil wants me to kill myself' and so on. We were in Cabin 3, over half a mile from where he apparently intended to meet the devil.

My dad kept a grip on him for probably a good 15 minutes until the cops showed up. The first thing out of one of the cop’s mouth was 'Jamie, when'd they let you out?' Jamie had been released from jail just two weeks earlier for arson, and guess where he was standing when my mom was at the sink in the kitchen? Right beside the cabin’s propane tank."

Mental patient threatens mom

“My mother works with mental patients. One night at around 9 PM, she told me she had to go to work because there was an emergency. Later, I get a phone call from her. She basically said my name and before she could finish, the phone got pulled away from her. In this high pitch, creepy voice one of the patients says, 'Devon 302,' (I assumed she heard my name mentioned by my mom), 'Devon 302? Your Mom isn't coming home tonight because I'm going to do something bad to her.' Then she hung up. I started freaking out and my mom didn’t call me back until two hours later. The woman ended up getting arrested, but quickly released since she has a mental illness. It was creepy as hell and very unnerving.”

Couple has strange experience with neighbor

"When my wife and I had our old house built, one of the first things we noticed the night we moved in is that the house behind us had a square window that seemed to be right next to their toilet, but probably five feet above the floor. We figured this was the case because at various times during the night, we could see just the profile of a dude's head there. He would stand there for like 30 seconds and then he would leave and the light would go off.

It became sort of a running joke - once in awhile we would just look out the back window and go, 'Yup, Russell is taking a leak again.'

One night it was storming pretty badly and the power went out in the neighborhood. I was just looking out the back window at the storm and I happened to notice what I thought was the profile of Russell's head in the little window when lightning lit up the area. I had some funny thoughts about trying to aim in the dark and wondered why he wasn't peeing with a flashlight or something. Five minutes later, a lightning revealed Russell was still standing there. Man, that’s some epic piss. I ran and got my binoculars to see if I could figure out what was going on over there. More lightning strikes and I was fairly certain Russell's head was still in the window, but it looked strange.

Then suddenly the powerkicked back on and my sights were filled with the image of a female mannequin head in Russell's window, facing directly at our window.”

Friends have uncanny experience with beggar

“I lived in Ecuador for a few years in high school and my friend from Illinois came to visit. We took him to various tourist sites which included a number of small towns known for woodworking and hand crafted items. In one town, they had a market that sold baby chickens. My friend thought it was funny and bought one. He carried it around for a while, named it, and said it was his pet. When it came time to leave, he handed it to a beggar lady as we were getting in the car. We closed the door and drove to the next town. The road between the two towns was the ONLY road and my dad drives like a bat outta hell. We pulled up in the next town and immediately the SAME beggar woman is asking for more. We couldn't believe it was the same woman till she smiled at us and had the chick in her hand. We all freaked out. There was NO way she could have physically gotten from one town to the next faster than us, and yet... somehow she did.”

Man finds corpse in a garbage bag

“The summer after I graduated from high school I worked as a highway litter crew supervisor where I drove two younger teens around and had them pick up litter on the side of the road. One day one of the kids flagged me over to him and showed me a weird bag he'd found. The bag was a very thick, semi-translucent plastic, double bagged and tied off at the top with black electrical tape. It was down in a ditch covered with brush, so the kid and I dragged it to the side of the road for closer inspection. It was really heavy and it took two of us to get it out of the ditch. Once we got it to the roadside it became apparent that the bag was filled with a reddish-brown slush and a bunch of hard pieces of bones. It was then that I realized that this was a sack filled with a rotting corpse of some kind. I called my boss, and he told me to call the police. The police showed up pretty nonchalantly, but became visibly upset once he'd inspected the bag himself. He took down my statement and contact information then shooed us along as he called into the station for assistance. We never heard anything back from the police, and I never did find out what, or who exactly, was in the bag.”