Sex is supposed to be fun. "Supposed" being the key word. But, if you play, you are bound to get hurt. We scoured the internet to find some of the craziest sex stories you'll hear- the ones that ended up in the ER. From various household objects finding their way up people's rectums, to piercings gone bad, these story will definitely make you extra-cautious the next time you're bit by the love bug.
Hospital Workers Tell Insane Sex-Related Injuries They Saw,
Guy convinces wife to stick gun up his butt during sex; gun goes off
"The EMTs arrive, they find a woman covered in gore and blood and a man with a gaping hole in his stomach. Apparently they had returned from their honeymoon and were getting busy. The husband thought it a good idea to get his wife to insert a revolver into his rectum. However the revolver was loaded and the safety off.
Mid-blowjob the gun went off blowing a huge hole in his stomach and covering his lovely wife in blood, intestines and rectum.
The wife was just in shock and couldn't move or talk. The man, unfortunately, didn't make it."
Tongue piercing gets stuck on clit-ring.
"Have you ever had a tongue-piercing get stuck in a clitoris-ring? Well, it's fun for the on-duty EMTs, not so much for the patients."
Man tries to have sex with his cat
"One of my friends was an EMT. He had to respond to a call once for a guy who injured his penis. It turns out he was trying to fuck his cat and his cat wasn't having any of it. He said that was the only time on the job he lost it laughing in front of the patient."
Woman masturbates with curtain rod
"A woman used her curtain rod to masturbate and well... got it stuck. The best part was that it was a long curtain rod which need to be cut to fit in the ambulance."
Woman decapitated while giving road head
"A buddy of mine is a paramedic and he once told me a story about a guy who was getting road head and got into an accident. When they found the girl, she had been decapitated. She still had his penis in her mouth and he wasn't sitting next to her anymore."
A man tries to massage himself with a large onion and gets it stuck up his butt
"My buddy told me about a guy who had gotten a large onion stuck in his rectum. The guy's excuse was that he was using it to massage his lower back, which is why he was completely naked and covered in oil, and slipped and fell on it causing it to lodge itself in his colon. The real kicker is that he was a few days into this ordeal because he wanted to pass it without going to the hospital so in the process he developed a massive impaction because he was completely clogged."
Man breaks his penis into a Z
"I had a gentleman and his lady come in after a romantic (drunken) night on the beach, mid-coitus he misjudged the length of his penis, pulled out too far, and rammed it into her leg causing it to snap in half. I have never in my life seen something so horrific and I've been an EMT for 10 years. It was in the shape of a Z, completely purple, and swollen. "
Couple breaks a glass, shards end up in bad places
"A couple come into A&E after a (presumably rough) night out. They'd gone back to his place, had some wine on his bed, then started having sex. She went on top, and as they changed positions one of the wine glasses smashed and left an eight centimeter shard in the guy's butt cheek.
Worst part? She continued to ride him for a number of seconds mistaking his screams for pleasure, and caused some fairly serious lacerations."
Woman nearly bites off penis
"We had a young couple visiting from Korea checking out our major university. They were staying at a mid-priced hotel. All our call notes said was '21-year-old male bleeding from penis.' When we get there, the caller was in the lobby and walks out to us holding his crotch and a bloody towel. His girlfriend is crying her eyes out. First thing she said to me in broken English was 'Will you cut it off?' Found out that she was giving him head and it got a little rough. Apparently she managed to somehow bite his dick just at the base of the head where it meets the shaft. He had a deep laceration the width of his dick but the head was still attached. He was in minimal pain and the bleeding had mostly stopped. That one was hard to keep a straight face on."
Man gets stuck in a cock ring
"My dad was a paramedic for many years. I remember one story he told about some guy getting a cock ring stuck on his dick. Apparently the guys dick had swollen up so much because of the cock ring, they couldn't even see the ring anymore. from what he described it looked like an eggplant ready to burst."